#and whacked out hormones from years of overeating

[olderthannetfic]

There's some sort of bureaucratic confusion between my doctor and my pharmacy which means I haven't had my weekly T shot in almost two weeks.

And guess what, lack of T is making me angry! So much for all those stereotypes. I've never been more than a day late on a dose since I started years ago, and I've never had to completely miss a dose like this.

I sent a ragey ask the other day before I realised what was up, sorry about that. Just attribute any ask like that to lack-of-roid rage.

-- Just sent an ask about how missing a T dose is causing anger. This isn't a withdrawl thing, this is a return to the hell I lived for over thirty years before I finally got the storebought hormones my body and brain needed all along. So on top of the irritability that used to be part of my baseline mood, I've also got this gnawing fear that living a normal life was something I only got a time and it's over now and I have to go back. Gender stuff is of course the biggest part of it, but there's also an emotional/mental part of it that isn't just being more comfortable in my body. My brain seems to be designed to work properly with a certain amount of testoterone in my system, and without it my emotions get out of whack. My emotions were out of whack from homemade puberty to storebought puberty. I'm also having hot flashes, that's definitely a withdrawl thing.

TBH, it will be hard to tell amongst the sea of rage.

[wellthatsclever]

...

[kooki914]

Nobody asked and yet you're getting it anyway, my Dess interpretation! Tbf I love a lot of other people's Dess designs maybe more than my own based on complexity/symbology alone, but this is what my original take for her was so I'm sticking to it. Extremely long list of factoids for her under the cut!

Dess hasn't seen a hairbrush in 8 years.

Opening her first fountain was an accident, and so was entering the dark world, but it was something she desperately needed at that point. She was knighted by Spade King, before being dubbed the Roaring Knight by the general public after she opened the second fountain and people started (correctly) assuming she was trying to cause the apocalypse.

Dess is mtf trans! She was out since she was 9, and took puberty blockers for a while, but stopped after she disappeared because she, y'know, didn't have access to them anymore. Strangely, even though she's been off of them for so long, there's very few side effects. You can just see her Adam's apple sometimes and muscle mass started building for her easily, but that's it. She's silently grateful that her dad didn't pass down any beard-making genes.

The reason why it's been so mild is due in part because of the effect of being in the "void" for too long, aka the space so dark and isolated you can't even feel your own limbs. She was stuck in the code of the game, basically, and it's had adverse effects on her mentally and physically, the only positive effect being less testosterone production in her body.

The physical effects are odd. Though she's grown and her body's age is what it would've been if she never disappeared, she's still in the same clothes she was when she ran away, but they sized up with her. The black nail polish she had on is still there too, not even chipped. As previously mentioned, her hormones are out of whack but, somehow, she's still clearly a grown adult, as if she just went through a very, very mild puberty.

The mental effects of being stranded in the literal nothingness are as expected as they are odd. The standard effects of not having contact with another person for so long have, somehow, never taken hold. It's like the social part of her brain was just put on pause. However, part of the madness she DID get was her very much considering her memories might just be made up. As if she was always here and managed to, somehow, delude herself into thinking she had a life outside of this place, when she never did. Essentially, she stopped existing, but retained some level of consciousness.

The whole "not existing for a while" thing as well as the fact that she's pre-hrt trans means she absolutely hates mirrors. Give her a mirror and she'll give back about a hundred shards of it. When she was younger she usually just had dysphoria over looking too boyish (hence why she never cut her hair) but nowadays she has weird feelings about something as simple as Having Knees (the existential horror of having a body after being formless in the nothingness during your formative years).

Her journey as the Knight was mostly about rediscovering herself, trying to find purpose and trying to help the people around her. She spent her whole life feeling helpless, and wanted to destroy that feeling, for everyone. Her violent behavior was rewarded by the equally maladjusted Spade King, and they teamed up under the pretense of helping all of darkner kind.

Dess set out to cause the Roaring, per his instruction, without knowing what it even was. All she knew is that, apparently, she was the only one who could, and that gave her a sense of purpose. Once she learned it'd bring about the end of the world, she was so detached from the world that she carried on anyway, not concerned with the life that could be lost because, god, she spent so long outside it, how COULD she know what life was worth now?

Dess went by neutral pronouns (they/it) as the Knight because it was another mask she used to distance what she Knew of herself and what she Had to be (kind of like Asriel calling himself "Flowey" in Undertale, actually). Being called "her" was too familiarising and humanising, being called "he" made her break out into hives and start killing, so she stuck with the alternatives for utilitarian reasons. Somewhere along the way she got sick of it and started missing her feminine pronouns, but decided to just stick to the bit anyway. The world was gonna end soon anyhow, who cares?

Once she's out of the role of Knight and back in the light world, you bet your ass she's switching back to exclusively she/her. Fuck neutrality, this girl needs gender affirmative language.

Rediscovering music, and specifically playing and making music, was one of the things that helped Dess get back in touch with being a person again after the whole Knight debacle. She plays piano and harmonica of her own volition, and the violin because of her mom's insistence, but her true favourite will always be the guitar. She was a little small as a kid so playing it used to be difficult, but now that she's an adult having it in her lap is easy, and honestly it just makes her feel alive. One of those dreams she had as a kid that she forgot about along the way, y'know?

Her and Asriel were just family friends at first, but when they ended up going to the same class together too, they quickly became best friends. They were there for each other through everything, Dess got Asriel into games, he was there when she came out, and they were practically inseparable. Asriel was a hard worker and Dess was a super active sports kid, they balanced each other out well and were known as the highest achievers in their class, the golden kids.

Kris and Noelle got dragged into their adventures basically on accident, Noelle because Dess was the one babysitting her all the time, and Kris because they wanted to spend time with their brother. They often spent time outside together because Dess loved being anywhere but at home. She didn't mind Azzy's house, though. Kris was a lot to deal with sometimes and Dess scolded them in a lot of the same ways adults scolded her (minus the hitting them over the head with stuff, what was all her). She has no idea the impact she's had on their behavior.

She was always kind of violent, but when she was younger it wasn't really an issue, more like an excuse to get her into sports. She learned to act out because causing problems was the only context in which she'd get attention from her very busy parents. With Noelle specifically, Dess took on a semi-parental role and quickly developed a habit of taking on way more burdens than she could handle. Even with Asriel as a best friend and the Dreemurrs as a surrogate family, the control her mother Clarice commanded over her life was just too limiting. It all boiled over.

Dess started lashing out at other kids around when puberty hit, starting fights and genuinely hurting people. She never got expelled because her mother was the mayor, but Dess started getting grounded more and more often, which meant less and less time with her only real friend, and more with her very dysfunctional family. She loved Noelle, but her little sister became another responsibility, another liability that could get Dess in trouble, it was way too much for her to handle maturely when she was only 13.

Dess "disappeared" because she ran away from home. She hated living there, but neither of her parents could admit that, hence her disappearance being so "mysterious" to the other townsfolk, they genuinely thought she vanished from inside the house. It was only after Kris admitted they saw her in the woods near the bunker that night that the case got more complicated, and the legend only grew more terrifying.

Her original plan was to just catch a bus to out of town and hope for the best, but when she ran into the woods in pitch blackness, she couldn't find her way around. She was too reliant on light, and couldn't manage in darkness. She found the bunker in her aimless wandering and, hoping to sleep off the night and make up excuses in the morning, she went inside. She couldn't have known that nothing was in there.

The effects of her sudden disappearance rippled throughout the whole town. Most obviously, Asgore got fired for not being able to find her and Rudy quit his job to be a stay at home dad for Noelle's sake. Less tangibly, Asriel and Clarice both started burying themselves in work to avoid grief. Kris and Noelle socially shut down for a few years, it's why neither of them have any real friends other than the strained relationship they have with each other. Asriel took on Dess' habit of "be anywhere but home" when his parents started having marital problems, and Kris latched onto him even harder to avoid losing any more people in their life. Through all this, Dess was nowhere, silently wondering if anyone even noticed she's gone, if her life was even real to begin with.

One of the strange things that happened to her while stranded in nothingness was almost being able to hear someone mumbling to themselves. When she called out, the voice vanished, only to re-emerge an uncertain amount of time later and excuse himself for getting startled. He just doesn't get guests often, you see. And guests get him even more rarely. It was refreshing to hear a consciousness separate from her own, but his mind was even more broken than hers, unable to answer her questions about what was real and what was imagined as he seemed to think he himself was a product of unreality. Plus, he never really stayed for too long and he never wanted to talk about himself either, as if mentioning his own name could shatter him to pieces.

The reason Dess didn't lose her mind from to his influence like Jevil and Spamton did was because she's just fundamentally pragmatic. You can throw philosophy and existential questions at her all you want but as long as she talks and thinks, she exists, which means reality is Something, even if it's completely eluding her grasp. It might also have something to do with her being a (homestuck warning) Void player, meaning the idea of the innate meaninglessness of life and unanswerable questions about reality itself don't really sound earth-shattering to her.

She used her knife to open fountains at first, the one she brought with her from the light world, but along the way she picked up a rapier and decided it was way cooler than a knife so it's her go-to now. She's not actually that good with swords, though. She uses them like baseball bats. Despite this, Spade King still praises her as if she's the best warrior they've seen in generations. It might've gone to her head.

Her relationship with King is fundamentally a mentor and a student. He gave her flawed information, but taught her a lot about herself, the world she found herself in, and the role she could choose. And, that's the most important part, he let her CHOOSE, because he was genuinely under the impression that she was just a really powerful darkner and not a lightner. His strictness and high standards reminded her of her parents, mostly her mom, but his willingness to give HER control over her own destiny is what made her favour him over every other adult in her life. Discipline that treated her like a valued person rather than an asset was basically unheard of for her until then. Plus, reminding her of her parents gave Spade the bonus of every time he encouraged her on anything it'd activate the "parental approval" neurons in her brain that were terribly starved up to that point.

From Spade's point of view, the Knight (as a darkner) is everything he wants to be, but can't be. At first he mentored her mostly as an excuse to live vicariously through her, but in getting to know her better he discovered they have a lot more in common than he first thought. Unregulated emotions, unresolved pasts, the constant feeling that you need to do More and Louder in order to make any kind of impact... he started to genuinely care about her. If/when he's redeemed, finding out the Knight has been a lightner this whole time might not even be that much of a betrayal. Seeing her face and learning her name as she apologies for lying is like reconnecting with his own wounded, younger self. Letting it be water under the bridge means he doesn't lose connection to himself again, doesn't lose connection with his best student. Plus, December IS a nice name.

She met Lancer, but didn't pay him much mind. She was busy with overthrowing the other Kings and was too tired to be a babysitter again. Due to her rancid vibes as the Knight (and the fact that she quickly became the favoured child even though it wasn't her intention) Lancer doesn't like her that much. She left Card Kingdom pretty quickly, anyway (Spade's advice to seek another worthy kingdom to grant a fountain to), so she never got much of a chance to get to know him, even if she wanted to.

Her relationship with Queen is even more fraught. Due to Queen's tendency to mimic the "mother" personality for every lightner she meets individually, as well as her more Explicitly Controlling tendencies, Dess quickly became rebellious and then antagonistic towards her. Queen tried to choose FOR her, to get her to open fountains on HER terms, and Dess wasn't having it. Yes, following Queen's instructions would've caused the Roaring much, MUCH sooner, but, like. Not at ALL in a satisfying way.

She has no idea who Gaster is. When asked, she'll assume he's a Darkner. If asked about the man in the nothingness, she'll shrug it off. Now that she's out, she doesn't know if he's actually real or something she just made up in her head, though she laughs that off as well. "I sound a lot like him when saying that, huh?"

Learning Asriel goes to college is complete whiplash for her. Her sense of time is WRECKED. Like, yeah, she can wrap her head around Noelle and Kris being teens now, but ASRIEL??? What do you MEAN he's not still stressing over chemistry exams and cramming for spanish class, and is, like, actually studying something he's interested in???? Unheard of.

She makes fun of him SO much for his little beard stubble, dude. It's all in good fun, but like, you can only be called "mini Asgore" so many times by your childhood best friend before it starts to cut deeper. On the flipside he has literally nothing bad to say to her. She nearly caused the apocalypse, but like, he gets it. He would've done the same in her shoes (hooves??). He thinks her Dark World armour is so kickass and he could never pull it off like she can.

Unsurprisingly Asriel has a crush on Dess. He always kinda had one, even when they were kids, but reconnecting as adults just Fully bashed him over the head with the fact that he's had repressed feelings for her and he has NO idea what to do about it. He's anxiety incarnate and thinks Dess already KNOWS he has a crush on her and just isn't saying anything because she's playing it cool, or doesn't wanna hurt his feelings, or thinks he's too lame to date or something. He thinks she's the coolest person who ever lived and has no idea how to cope.

Meanwhile in reality, Dess is a clueless aro/ace. She doesn't really know what having a crush even means. She thinks being a couple is, like, flirting and fighting behind closed doors (you can tell the only couples she knew personally were her parents and Asriel's parents), so she thinks it's just exhausting and doesn't know why anyone bothers. When Noelle tells her she has a crush on Susie Dess is like "Hell yeah, love is love........ wait do you mean you like her or you want her to crush you with a boulder" and Noelle sweats for a while before replying with "b-both?"

Dess has never been to Castletown. Most likely will never go.

Her and Kris reconnecting is a bit awkward at first, mostly on account of the fact that Kris and their posse are the ones that had her bash her over the head as the Knight to get her to behave in the first place, but Dess doesn't really focus on that. Kris thinks they hurt her, she just thinks of them as a little hero. Susie kinda helps facilitate them talking like people again, at least at first, because she has no baggage with Dess other than hitting her with an ax over dark fountains and getting stabbed in return, but like... Out of all the people they fought Dess is the only one who actually said sorry for being a jackass, so it's all good in Susie's book. Kris is just happy to have Dess back, man, that bunker and their memory of it has been haunting them for entirely too long, now.

Like Kris and Asriel, Dess learned how to play piano in church. Unlike them, and unlike Noelle, Dess has actually become fully agnostic after her time in the void. If there IS an angel looking out for her, it certainly isn't one that could've helped her, so what's the point of worship? Plus, Asriel and Noelle are two angels looking out for her as is! Why add divinity to that? (I am extremely subtle, I know.)

To this day, she's still apologising to Asgore for getting him fired. He is still apologising for not being able to find her. It's a pity party.

No-one tell her parents but she smokes weed. Once she reformed from being the Knight, she had a lot on her mind, man, weed is the most harmless thing she could've taken to cope. Seam is a good dealer, they have the good stuff.

She's absolutely called King "dad" by accident before. He doesn't really mind. No-one tell Rudy though, he's gonna be pissed.

On that note, I feel the need to add that she was never as close to him as Noelle was, because he only really started being an active parent after Dess went missing. It's kinda tragic, and he feels REALLY guilty about it, but if he ever verbalises that guilt he's gonna actually crumble into dust. His confidence is all a mask as is, actually admitting that he was kind of garbage at being a dad with his first kid is just gonna make it so much worse. But, until Dess hears an apology, she's not really gonna be able to actually mend their relationship, so they're at an impasse.

Inversely, her time away from the light world kinda made Dess forget the way her mother acts. She sorta got a bit of "once away from the abuser you forget the abuse", especially knowing she herself was a kid when it all happened so she kinda started justifying her mother's actions to herself when away from her. After like 2 weeks of living with her again Dess fully remembers why she ran away and packs her bags to live literally anywhere else. Preferably with King if that's an option, though that might just make Lancer move out as well.

She doesn't know what minecraft is.

[pampushky]

i hate the air he breathes his foolish decrees

Alpha! Lando Norris/Omega! Lauda! Reader - chapter 2 - 5k

woooo welcome to part 2 my loves! sorry for the slight wait. I've been doing hot bitch shit (my actual job). but now we're back. enjoy the fuck out of it. TW: no mention of abuser other than as him. mentions of abandonment and severe physical trauma in the form of a house fire. lore drop on the main character too!!

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Mid-March 2005. Los Angeles.

Niki gets a call from an unknown number that wakes him up from a deep slumber, and he hardly has any time to think as he’s pulling a sweater over his head and forgoing a hat entirely. It’s his third day in as your legal guardian, and you’re already transferred to a state-of-the-art hospital in Los Angeles, across the country from where you’d lived previously. A newer set of mountains. A city to the hamlet you’d once known, hidden away in the foggy mountains of North Carolina.  

As he blearily walks into the hospital lobby, there’s already a small team of doctors waiting for him, explaining rapidly what's happening to you as they walk him up to your room in the burn ward. You’re in the best hospital for burns on the continent— Niki had made sure of it. Had paid for the flight over here two days ago, with a medical staff on board to keep you stable during the five-hour flight. 

The doctors swarming around your unconscious form resemble vultures. The burn center director explains everything to him when they finally get to your room. The rapid medical treatment nearly made you present early. Freakishly early, by all standards. It’s understood to have been a panic response by your body— because you're on the brink of death in the burn ward, your hormones so out of whack that for whatever reason, your brain had gone, ‘Oh, yes, it’s time to do that now.’

Studies had shown that those in areas where the risk of death was high often presented much earlier, with other cases that also supported something known as “panic presentation”. You’re an extreme example of the latter. But it had never been seen to this degree. You need to be knocked out for several days, going comatose while a team of doctors works around the clock to save your life while it seems likely you will melt away like the first snowfall on a sun-warmed road as it seems new complications get piled onto your case file every day. The way the doctor talks about you makes Niki feel like you’re more of a specimen meant for study, and not a pup who’d just lost her Dam. 

Marlene has already decorated the sterile room to reflect more on a child’s room. And wherever there’s an empty space on a table, she’s placed down vases full of fresh flowers. Flowering dogwood. That’s what the state flower was of North Carolina, and however early in the season for blooming it was, she managed to find fresh ones every day. Now, Marlene was back at the hotel, settling a new wave of interest about your identity while Niki tried to figure out what he was going to do with you when he's lead into the room.

You’re already on several new medications to prevent you from presenting early, having them inserted in through an IV and eventually, to be taken as a pill when you could swallow. You'll be on these same medications until you’re seven or eight, when they can start to consider weaning you off of them to let you present then because it’ll be safer. Niki hates the idea of you presenting even then. You should be almost fully grown when you present. Not— not still a pup. With baby teeth still in your mouth. You should be wrestling. Learning to access your canine form, and causing mayhem like his sons had. 

So he does what he’s been doing for the past five days. Niki sits quietly by your side in your private room. Holding your tiny hand while a machine breathes for you, not even five years old, and fighting for your life. Completely unaware of the complications your existence has thrown straight into Niki’s lap, dredging up old, old wounds that his sons have yet to recover from.

Because the great complication is that you’re his biological grandchild. 

Through a son, a beta, that neither Lukas nor Mathias had gotten to know. Or Niki, for that matter. But here you are. The only link to that son. To the ultimate undoing of his marriage and mating, his infidelity thrown back in his face in the form of a sedated, traumatized pup that can’t understand him through his accent.

Left without a dam, your mother. Lost to the roaring flames of a housefire that you’d somehow survived. Part of Niki wants to know how his son had ended up in the area, and if there are any other new descendants he should know about. So he petitions the court to gain access to your files before he legally adopts you, and he stares down at them before finally lifting the cover of the manila folder and starts to read.

All the files seem to stare right on back at Niki as he continues to pour through them, officially five minutes and nine seconds into being your legal guardian. They’re meticulous, just as expected— it had become standard for anyone who’d had so much as a visit to a hospital to create a DNA profile, especially after they presented. His affair child’s profile stares back at him, with what he can only assume is an up-to-date photo. Male. Beta. Signed away parental rights before birth. Austrian nationality. That’s all you have to go on for your biological father’s identity. 

That’s all that linked Niki to you, and how the social worker had managed to contact him. All other positive matches from your father’s side are his former mistress as your biological grandmother and his two sons with Marlene as your uncles. There are no other pups listed for his affair child. No other grandchildren that he has to worry about. Your dam’s profile is more complete. A smiling picture of her holding you as an infant, left by her family.

Female. Omega. Deceased. American nationality, born in Banner Elk, North Carolina. 

And under that:

Dam’s pack signed away pack and next of kin rights to the pup. Relevant health history is accessible through the International UN DNA database. Pack requested no contact order until the pup has reached legal age, or unless the pup does not survive her time in hospital, so they may bury her in the family plot with her Dam.

This makes a chill run down Niki’s spine. Your pack had… signed you away? The only people who had been familiar to you— and they had signed away their rights as though you were more of a burden than anything, only asking for you back if you were dead. It makes him shudder, as he looks down at your tiny body again, for what must have been the thousandth time since he’s been introduced to you. Since he’d so quickly agreed to become your legal guardian, your legal sire. Covered in bandages and hooked up to dozens of wires. 

The social worker explained that signing you away was them not wanting to pay for the massive medical bill, along with the scandal your birth had caused in the small community. Your Dam was unmated, and even worse, unmarried, raising you on her own in a less-than-up-to-code cabin her late father had left her, further out in the mountains, a thirty-minute drive into town. 

The matriarch of her pack had been well-regarded in the area— it was an open secret that she was looking for any excuse to remove you from the picture. This just happened to be the perfect excuse. How was she going to be able to pay for your medical costs on her own when it was just her? All the advanced treatments you’d need— it would be too much in her old age.

When told about the Children’s Health Insurance Programs that could easily provide care for you, your grand-dam had just made a sour face and told the Social Worker she was still signing away her rights. Her surviving children were quick to follow her lead.

What a backward system. Niki had growled to himself, pacing in the room. Reading the reports from the insurance company he’d managed to legally bully his way into receiving from your biological family. 

The cabin had burnt down in nearly an hour. You’d been trapped under a metal bed frame when the roof collapsed in on itself. When they’d found you, it had been a recovery effort for bodies. And despite it all, you’d survived, your whimpering and crying alerting the firefighters that you were alive. Severely burnt, with the old mattress and polyester blankets having melted and dripped across your little body as the embers settled. Half of your body severely burnt from where the flames could still reach you. Crying out for your Dam even as you were airlifted to the nearest hospital with a functioning burn ward.

Going over your files has become a habit for first past three days. Ever since Marlene had gone silent when Niki told her that he was going to adopt you, before brusquely starting to order furniture and calling countless contractors that a new pup-friendly room be added to his house in Hof. He’s lucky to at least be considered a friend of his former mate, otherwise, he would be stumbling through his second round of parenting. He looks down at the newest addition to his pack. You. Four and a half. With burns covering an incredible amount of your body. Nearly 45% percent of your torso, completely mangling one of your legs, crawling up your neck and dancing across your jaw. Now lying in a medically-induced coma to conserve your energy. 

You wake up nearly two days later. Five days into Niki’s tenure as your legal sire. Unable to scream. Eyes fixed on Niki as your little chest heaves with the effort it takes to breathe. You pull at your IV and try to snap at a nurse who tries to stop you. But your eyes are still fixed on Niki, likely horrified by his burns. You were glancing at your own bandaged arms and body as if to gauge how you would one day look. 

There is a wild look in your eyes as you look at him. The way you tremble as the doctors try to explain everything. It hurts Niki’s heart, especially with the gasping noise you let out before they sedate you again when you’re still not responding well to anything. Niki wants to wrap you up in his arms and never let you go. You mumble something out as you drift away again, tears in the corners of your eyes. Foggy eyes on the extravagant bouquets of flowers on the tables beside your bed and across the room.

Where is my Dam? 

Early February 2024. Woking.

Your left leg was acting up again. It always did when you were stressed. The fire had mangled it— and that was putting it lightly. Not bad enough to amputate, because that would be too easy, and they didn’t want to send your body into even more shock. So you had your crispy, chicken-fried, useless leg. You could put some weight on it now, after nearly twenty years of intense therapy and correcting surgeries. But it was still incredibly weak. All twisted, mottled skin and a full knee replacement.

That’s what had made it so easy for him. That’s what had made it easy for him to chase you down as you tried to leave every situation that saw him near you. Easily able to keep pace with your shambling, stress-induced walk as you choked on his scent. 

Your upper thigh twinges. The needle pierces your skin all over again. That was the only reason you’d been able to walk away without experiencing a true heat from whatever drug he’d hit you with. The bad, mangled leg of yours. Your downfall and savior. 

The halls are winding, but you can vaguely follow the way to your office from previous talks. You call Lewis the moment you get to the room. There’s already a brand-new mini fridge sitting on your desk, likely from the accommodations you’d listed in the countless documents you’d had to sign when you got hired. 

There’s a few people unboxing your items and they look a bit shocked to see you back from what was supposed to be a much longer meeting.

“Ms Lauda—”

“Leave, please,” you whisper while pacing across the room, trying to calm yourself down. You can feel your scent-blocking, adhesive strips tingling. Your scent glands, especially the damaged ones, threatening to blister from the stress of what just happened. You were going to be sacked for certain. Not only had you yelled at the driver you were meant to work with, you’d also thrown an empty can at him. “I’d like some space.”

The workers, your new assistants, you realize, hurry out, not even catching your mumbled thanks as you tuck yourself into a corner where you can’t be seen from the door. So much different than Williams. So much more support. Lewis doesn’t pick up immediately, but just as you’re about to call again, his contact photo appears on your screen. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay—” Is the first thing you hear, like the protective older brother he’s always situated himself as in your life. “What room are you in? I still haves ways to get into the classified parts of the MTC—” 

“I’m going to fucking kill Lando Norris,” You growl into the phone, and Lewis lets out a relieved noise, before breaking off into a fit of laughter, his voice more distant as if he’s trying to muffle himself. “Don’t laugh! That fucking brat, I should box his goddamn ears, showing up nearly an hour late to what was supposed to be our initial meeting—” 

“Ah, yeah, sounds like Lando!” 

“Fuck off, Lewis,” You whine, and he has the audacity to laugh even harder, because your accent slips, as it always seems to do when you’re with your immediate pack. You can hear him shuffle a bit. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t,” You concede to him with a soft sigh. You hear the chortling barks of Roscoe in the background of Lewis’s call. “I’m gonna do my job. But I’m gonna hate it. Unless I get switched to Oscar.”

“Don’t sound too hopeful.” Lewis chides on the other side of the phone, and you hear the doorknob jiggle, followed by a soft knock. “Sounds like you have some work to do.” 

He hangs up before you can say something in response to him, leaving the gentle knocking on the door to slowly drive you insane. Likely Andrea or Zak, telling you that you were going to be let go for committing a minor assault against their star driver. 

And you're right, it is Zak. But he looks more concerned than angry with you, immediately putting his hands up in a placating manner when you open the door as if you’re the one with all the power and he’s not the CEO of McLaren Racing, your ultimate boss. Your boss’s boss. The one who bulldozed his way into getting you on the team because he’d seen your work to get at least a modicum of respect back to Williams, and, in his own words, got a good vibe from you.

(And maybe Niki had been in his ear a little bit about it, but when Niki Lauda spoke, people had a habit of listening rather closely to whatever he said.)

“Mr. Brown,” You start formally, leaning down in a way that is traditionally seen as submitting and a very, very formal way to apologize before he starts to squawk in surprise at it all. 

“Don’t– What are you submitting for— are you alright?!”

The last thing you expect is Zak fretting over you like you’re a pup. He’s gently squishing your cheeks with his hands, checking you over, and you can see his nose twitching, as if he’s checking your scent for any signs of distress. Only to look confused by how… clean, you smell.

“Are you— are you still hurt from everything?”

“No, I just,” You take a step backward, and hold up your hands just like he had just been doing for you a few seconds ago. “It’s easier to hide my designation when I smell like this.”

He just looks confused at your explanation but doesn’t seem to question it.

“And you… want to continue hiding it?”

“Preferably.”

Even as you say it, you can see a bit of pity in his eyes. You know his mate is an omega. He has a pup who’s an omega. Both of which he supports wholeheartedly. You’d seen all the articles. Part of you is jealous. Another part just wants everyone to stop caring about what your designation may be. Why should anyone care what you are? 

You’re proud of yourself, regardless of your designation. You’re not some prize to be won! You can stand on your own two feet, you can take care of yourself. You had more than shown that—

Zak is hugging you. Rumbling softly like any parent would do for a distressed pup.

“You don’t have to justify it. I just need to know so I can make sure that no one else is told, aside from our medical people.” He whispers, and you sag against him. Relief fills your mind. “What— what do people think you’ve presented as?”

“Alpha. Like Vati. They think I’m an Alpha.” 

“We can work with that,” Zak pulls away, looking at you. There’s only worry in his eyes. “Can I ask one more thing?”

“Yeah,” You sniffle, not realizing you’d starting to tear up as you look at him. “What is it?”

“Why…. did you throw an empty can of Red Bull at Lando? You’re not in trouble, I just want to know why.”

You flush, and Zak just starts to laugh. 

McLaren is much, much different than Williams.

Lando has been sitting in a chair while Oscar screams at him. Andrea has disappeared. It’s been ten minutes and all he wants to do is curl up and die and apologize for commenting on your voice and being late and not charging his phone and really, every other thing that he’d done wrong, ever.

Yes. He is technically the older one. No, he shouldn’t be acting like such a pup over this.  

Yes. He should know better than to comment on things that people can’t change or help about themselves.

Yes, Oscar, Lando was aware that you had survived a very traumatic house fire that nearly killed you. No, it’s not okay that he called you a robotic bitch. No, he didn’t read the email about the apparent triggers that you had from this event. Frankly, he wasn’t even aware that they had emailed those to him. That seemed like a bit much.

“I mean seriously, Lando! This is ridiculous! Fucking calling her that!” 

It feels like he’s being lectured by his Dam again, her words blending English into Flemish until he can’t tell what she’s saying, just that she’s pissed at him. Instead, it’s just Oscar’s accent getting thicker and thicker until Lando’s certain he’s never heard anyone sound so furious with him, and that’s really saying something. 

“I get it,” Lando whines, letting his head slip so that he can press his forehead against the table. And he does feel bad! Really! “I didn’t know she’d respond like that!”

“Wonderful excuse to be a fuckhead, champ,” Oscar drawls, eyes narrowed. His arms are folded. He looks unimpressed. He smells more, now than ever, of rotting oranges. Lando can imagine the maggots. “I’m shocked you didn’t comment on her designation as well.”

“She’s an alpha! And she smells so medicine-y,” Lando wrinkles his nose, lifting up his head enough to glare at the omega in front of him. Oscar’s face is a blank mask of annoyance, with a flicker of some other mystery emotion. But he can at least tell what he’s thinking because he can smell his displeasure from across the room. It’s all rotten oranges, burning rubber, and singed hair. “C’mon! I didn’t know it’d set her off that much, man!”

“Commenting on traumatic events tends to do that to people.”

“How was I supposed to know it was traumatic?!”

“Wow, you really didn’t read any of the emails,” Oscar lets out a low huff, sitting across from Lando in one of the plush office chairs. “We’ve been in talks with her for weeks!”

“You were in talks with her, maybe,” Lando says snidely, narrowing his gaze at the omega across from him, “I didn’t think I needed a new race engineer, yet here we are. But you seemed awfully interested when you heard she was looking for a new team.”

Oscar scoffs. His cheeks turn slightly pink. “No, I wasn’t. She’s a good friend. I thought she’d be a good fit for the team.”

“Oh, so this has nothing to do with the fact that you have such an obvious crush on her? I bet Logan even helped set you up,” Lando knows he’s been a dick again. But he’s frustrated. He’ll get lectured by his therapist for this later, and he’s okay with that. He just needs to make Oscar squirm a little for his high-and-mighty attitude. “You want her pups, I bet. Already have the first three named.”

“Fuck off,” Oscar snarls, and Lando decides to keep digging a bit more. “It’s not like that! Besides— I’m courting someone!”

An awkward silence settles between the two. Oscar’s flushed pink. And Lando starts to grin. All evil like, in Oscar’s opinion. Gleefully, in his own. 

"Oh, but it is!” Lando chimes, his voice all sing-songy. He’s in full older brother mode. He knows exactly what to do to push Oscar’s buttons now that his teammate has shown his weakness. He’s done this with his sisters. And Oscar’s probably used to being the one doing the tormenting, as his family’s oldest pup. “You like her!” And then, with a very dramatic gasp, “Oh, you’re probably courting her! No wonder you wanted her here!”

Without so much as a warning, the Australian driver leaps at him with a snarl the moment the words are out of his mouth. They’re both tussling on the ground, before it turns into the two of them in their canine forms, snapping and snarling at each other. This is when Andrea decides to make a reappearance, looking a bit startled to see a mousy-brown wolf and a dark-brown wolf rolling around on the floor of the conference room. Oscar is large for an omega in his canine form, but still smaller than Lando. Lando is wirey, not as bulky as many would expect an Alpha to be. It’s rather evenly matched, considering how often the two of them are training. 

One moment, Lando has Oscar pinned. Another, Oscar has him pinned. Snarling and biting and kicking until the door opens again, and now it’s Andrea, Zak, and yourself watching the two of them wrestle until you fearlessly walk into the fray and grab Oscar by one of his hind legs.

Oscar turns human again immediately, hitting the ground with a loud ‘oof’ while Lando scurries away, watching as you start to lecture the other driver as he stands up. Your tone is hushed, but it’s clear that this seems to be a common occurrence between the two of you. You’re leaning over him, and the rumblings of annoyance and displeasure are clear as day.

Lando can’t help but smirk as the other man makes fleeting eye contact with him as you sit on his side of the table, taking your place as his engineer, despite your obvious contempt for him. 

“Now, let's get to business…” Andrea sighs. You keep your eyes ahead. Hands folded neatly in front of you. Letting his words blur until you feel Oscar gently tugging on your arm. He looks concerned, and you smile tiredly at him. Only just remembering the promise of cuddling in his nest with him when this was all done. 

You don’t even care if you look or act nothing like the Alpha that Lando thinks you are. You just slump against Oscar with a grumpy half-whine as he hoists you over his shoulder. The other driver lets out a loud snort at that, and your friend only glares at him, about to say something else before you bring one of your hands to tap his cheek lightly.

“Just get to th’nest,” You mumble, leaning against him. Your leg aches. You don’t want to walk. “Wanna get th’blockers off.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Oscar sighs, glaring at Lando over his shoulder before walking past with you in his arms. You don’t care about how it looks. You’ll deal with it later. And before you know it, you’re curled in the world’s comfiest nest, all in shades of orange and black. With the comforting scent of sweet tangerines and charcoal. Oscar hands you a nice little bottle of micellar water to help get the sticky adhesive of the blockers off, much more gentle with your skin than you ever are with yourself. He’s even soaked cotton rounds to make it a bit easier to apply, gently rubbing them across your scarred glands to clear any remnants of the adhesive off of your skin.

The smells of mountain rain and fresh baked peach cobbler mix with Oscar’s scent as you stretch, rubbing your cheeks tiredly.

You let yourself relax then. Sinking deep into the soft pillows as Oscar comes to spoon you from behind. A commonplace action, and had been since he started to get more and more bold with you in his attempts to court you. 

You can hear Oscar start to Facetime someone, probably Logan. But you honestly don’t care all that much— he’s there, and you’ll give your friend a full debrief, of course, after you’ve fully rested. 

“Your leg acting up?”

Oscar nudges you, and you grumble, trying to press your face further into the plushness of the nest, voice muffled by pillows. “Who cares if it is?”

“I do.”

“So do I!” Logan chimes in from the phone, and you roll over enough to glare at him. “Did you take all your meds, mouse?”

“Unfortunately, yes. So I’m afraid you’ll just have to put me down at this point—”

You don’t even have time to respond as Oscar cuffs your ear. You let out a dramatic whine, actually letting yourself act on your instinctual noises. Nothing hurts, of course. Oscar’s always been gentle, making sure nothing actually hurts when he wrestles with you or cuffs your ears. 

“Did you have to get my bad ear?” You whine, looking accusingly at the Aussie who just grins down at you, cuffing the same ear once again. “I’m gonna tell Lewis.”

“He doesn’t scare me, and besides, he’d probably agree with me! All, ‘C’mon, Mousey, that’s not how your therapist said to cope with your trauma—”

“That’s a bit scary, how accurate that was,” You prop yourself up to glare at your dear friend, only to smile broadly at him. You can’t help it, really. He manages to make you smile, even when you feel like shit. And even when he cuffs your bad ear by mistake, after swearing he won’t do it again.

In truth, the ear looks almost melted. It’s usually carefully hidden by your personal stylist, with hair masterfully combed over it. The skin around it— luckily missing your scalp— was mottled and pink. What was left of your ear was little more than a small ridge of skin and cartilage at this point, and was much the same in your canine appearance, just more dramatic without all the fur. The upper half of your ear was utterly gone, along with most of the lobe. It was the ear you were deaf in. 

“Can it even hurt if you’re deaf?”

“Yeah! Doesn’t mean it’s gone numb to the feeling,” you pout, looking at him as he sets his chin on your shoulder. Logan giggles from FaceTime. He’s set up somewhere, Williams blue all around him that makes you avert your gaze but continue talking to him nonetheless. “Ugh. Logan, I almost killed Lando.”

“She threw a can of Red Bull at him,” Oscar clarifies, to his rather shocked-looking boyfriend and courting partner. To his credit, it takes a few seconds before Logan starts to cackle.  

“It was empty!” You protest back, but there’s a wide smile on your face as you hazard a glance at your former partner. “He was being a little bitch!”

“Should I be offended I didn’t get the same treatment my first day?” Logan’s voice crackles and his face is frozen on the screen with a mix of a confused look and smirk, before serenading both of you with a jumbled, robotic mess before the call abruptly ends. 

“Stupid wifi,” Oscar mumbles, pulling the phone away to text his boyfriend to see what happened. You just settle back into your side of the nest, closing your eyes and letting yourself drift off while Oscar’s comforting scent wafts over in you waves. You could just about fall asleep when there’s a gentle knock at the door, followed by Andrea poking his head in. 

He blinks at the two of you. You blink back at him, already knowing you won't be able to take a much-needed like you had originally planned.

“Ah! Ms Lauda— can I speak with you for a second?”

“Can I do it from here?” you try to press yourself deeper into Oscar’s nest. You’d need to find a place to make one here— a nice, private room. Somewhere you can easily reapply your scent blockers and can fully surrender to your instincts until you were comfortable with more people knowing about your designation. “Took off my blockers.”

“Of course. I just wanted to check in, make sure everything was alright after… how the meeting went.”

There’s a hearty pause. As if he can tell you’re thinking over your words carefully.

“It certainly… went.”

“Ah. And… no other comments?”

“I meant what I said. You baby Lando.” You shift slightly. Tiredly. Giving the team principal the trademark Lauda stare from where you’re comfortably curled into the nest. So soft, yet so harsh at the same time.

“Then it’s a good thing you’re here to fix that,” Andrea smiles politely at you, and ducks out of the room without another word. You just settle deeper into Oscar’s nest, wondering what in the hell you’d gotten yourself into. The only thing on your mind when you finally manage to fall asleep is how much you miss your mother's fresh peach cobbler.

tags: @the-holy-trinity-l @laura-naruto-fan1998 @amalialeclerc @st0rmzi3 @poppyflower-22 @hiireadstuff @seonghwaexile @mrsmelinda

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy 8

Part 7

The rest of the band had gotten over their shock of the news of Eddie's sudden rut and were having a conversation about sewing or something but Steve was deep in thought.

"I'm telling you, it's both calming and not calming", Jeff said as they walked out of the venue.

Gareth adjusted his jacket. "You get all that from quilting?"

"You remember your dice obsession way back when?"

"Dude, that's all I remember from junior year."

"You guys aren't worried about Eddie?", Steve asked, interjecting.

"Why would we be worried?", Gareth asked.

"He just-", Steve paused when a couple of fans caught them between the sidewalk and the car taking them back to the hotel. It didn't seem prudent for anyone to know why Eddie would be indisposed right now. But he continued when the fans got their autographs and left. "He just went into rut without any warning."

"Yeah, but he's a grown man", Jeff said. "He can handle it."

'Handle it'. How alphas usually handled it was all Steve could think about on the way back to the hotel. Alphas of his previous tax bracket would usually have a designated partner. Whether that was someone they were married to, were promised to, or just someone they had an agreement with, it was odd for an alpha of means to spend a rut alone. So did Eddie already have someone like that?

Was that why he pushed Steve away and took off? So that he could go to them? The initial twinge of heartbreak and rejection was quickly replaced with anger. Who the hell had stolen his alpha away?

"Uhh, is Steve okay?", Grant asked, picking up on the bothered scent he was putting out.

"I need to talk to Eddie", Steve said, arms crossed.

"Chrissy's already with him in his room. She's probably making sure he's all set up", Jeff said.

Chrissy. Corroded Coffin's manager. Completely professional. But also...she was an omega...One that had known Eddie for a long time. When the car parked, Steve got out, forging ahead to the suite he and Eddie were sharing.

"Steve? Steve! We're telling you man, it's gonna be okay", Jeff tried to reassure him.

"And no one's gonna blame you", Gareth added.

That got Steve to stop in his tracks just as he was about to press the button for the elevators. "What do you mean blame me? For what?"

All three of them looked anywhere but him. Steve put his hands on his hips, not allowing them to get out of answering his question. Jeff was the one that broke.

"His rut, Steve. I think it's pretty obvious it only happened because... well, you and he, you know..."

Yes, Steve did know. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. Decades of science had proven that in certain conditions, this situation could happen. He let out a puff of laughter and ran his hands through his hair.

Honestly, if you had asked him, Steve would’ve figured that Eddie would have triggered his heat first. He’d heard the stories of having your hormones knocked out of whack by an alpha and having an off-cycle heat. So having to deal with his rut out of the blue was definitely a surprise.

Looking back on the past twenty four hours, anyone from the outside would have thought that Steve had been purposely trying to start it. But his sweet, sweet alpha and treated the situation like he was inconveniencing Steve. He had pushed Steve away, probably for his own good.

When he allowed himself to calm down and think about it, the idea that Eddie was getting his rocks off to someone else right now was just unbelievable. They had agreed. Exclusive. Which meant Eddie intended to ride this out alone.

“You don’t have to worry about Eddie”, Gareth said. “You can bunk with one of us while we wait for it to pass.”

“I’m not going to leave him”, Steve said quickly.

He pushed the elevator button and when the doors opened, he went inside. Grant and the others followed him. They stood behind Steve, trying to have a silent conversation on how to proceed.

"I can hear you guys bugging out", Steve said without turning. "It'll be fine." It wasn't even a matter of choice. His alpha needed him.

When the doors opened, he led the brigade and took his key card out. Inside, Chrissy was ending a call and Eddie was nowhere to be seen. She frowned a little at Steve.

"You shouldn't be here."

"I'm here to help Eddie", Steve said.

She looked disappointed at the band behind him, as if they were supposed to keep him away before giving Steve her attention again.

"Look, Steve, I know you're nice. But it's a liability thing. You could get hurt and Eddie's a public figure. Or maybe you'll use this to baby trap him, I don't know. But I can't let you use my friend that way."

Steve let out a hiss at the accusation. He had to remind himself and his omega that Eddie wasn't actually his alpha, that they weren't mated. She was completely in her rights as a friend and manager to protect her friend.

"Eddie won't hurt me. Chrissy, you know that stereotype about alphas during rut is nothing but BS. And I'm on birth control, so no pups are coming out of me any time soon."

"Baby, Chrissy", Eddie called out as he came out of the bedroom.

Steve ran up to him but Eddie grabbed his hands, keeping him at arms length. Steve frowned, but understood. They never really discussed what to do if one of them went into their cycles. But Eddie was still of a clear mind. They had time to discuss it now.

"Do you trust him?", Chrissy asked.

"With my signed copy of Lord of the Rings", Eddie smiled.

Steve's brow rose. "By Tolkien?"

"No, by McKellen. Which is better. The thing is, I don't trust myself around you while I'm like this."

Steve pouted a bit and let go of Eddie's hands, turning back to the rest of the group. "Do you mind giving us some privacy? I promise, if he turns me away, I'll come to one of your rooms."

"Text me before you guys get too....you know...", Chrissy said. "We can make accommodations."

"Will do", Steve said as he walked over to the couch while they left him and Eddie alone. Once they were, Steve patted the space next to him. Eddie came over, but only sat on the far opposite side.

“Angel, you shouldn’t be here. I’m not safe.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Eddie, you’re a pre-rut alpha. Not an insatiable lust monster.”

“But we never talked about this…you doing this for me, being my-m-my-”

“Shh”, Steve put a finger to his lips. “You’ve been taking such good care of me. I just wanna return the favor.” Then he let out an exaggerated sigh and turned away, standing up “But if you don’t want me here-”

He heard a loud thump that was probably the from Eddie rushing and falling off the couch to stop him. He felt Eddie hug him from behind, gentle, like he was afraid of breaking him.

"I want to. Christ alive, I want to. But I...what if I'm too much? What if I cross the line?"

Steve turned in his arms and kissed his nose. "Then we need to draw a line in the sand first."

Eddie nodded. "Okay. Okay, I can do that." His hands were already toeing the line, inching under Steve's shirt. "Maybe we have this conversation with some space between us?"

Steve conceded to that. He didn't want to get distracted either. So they sat back down on the couch, apart but not too far apart.

"Sooo, what am I allowed to do?", Eddie asked.

"Anything", Steve breathed out before composing himself. Eddie's scent was getting stronger but he had to not think with his pussy for once. "I mean, just what we've done before. All of that is fine."

"What if I wanna bite you?", Eddie swallowed.

"You know you're allowed to do that", Steve smirked. He was still sporting some of the marks from earlier.

"Even if I wanted to...", Eddie's eyes went to his neck. "Once I'm in rut, I'll really want it. I'll wanna make you mine. In any way I can."

'Don't think with your cunt, don't think with your cunt. Make a rational decision-god our babies would be so beautiful-but we're not ready to be mated-he's such a good alpha, perfect alpha, could raise our pups good, keep them safe and-'

"We can, um", Steve cleared his throat and looked around for something. He got up, just to get some space and also think of something that would keep him from getting a mating bite tonight even though that was all he wanted. He saw something on the bed and went right for it.

"Perfect!", he exclaimed, returning with the black bandana Eddie had been wearing during the concert. It was saturated with his scent. Steve folded it to a rectangular band and then tied it around his neck. "This is off limits", he said. "And your alpha brain won't fight because-"

"Because it already smells like you're mine. Sweet thing, you're a genius", Eddie beamed. He got off the couch and pulled Steve in his arms, kissing him sweetly. He took in a deep breath and released a full body shudder. "It's working already."

"Oh yeah?", Steve couldn't help looking smug.

"Mhm. It's like you've already got my bite." Eddie started to kiss at his jaw. "And it's making me wonder why I haven't got you pupped up yet."

Steve could've swooned but he had to keep his wits about him for as long as he could. "There's one more thing."

"Hm?", Eddie looked up, his eyes were already starting to get the moony look.

"You're not going to be entirely yourself. I know that. So like I said, I'm gonna take care of you. That means you listen to me. I'm in charge, okay?"

Eddie nodded rapidly. "You're in charge. Got it."

"Good alpha", Steve stroked his hair. With any luck, the tour schedule wouldn't be messed up too badly. Alpha ruts typically lasted around 3-5 days. It would've been longer if he had to go solo. There was the idea still being passed around that an alpha's rut would end when they were convinced their partner had conceived, but Steve wasn't sure how he was supposed to trick Eddie's alpha into thinking that.

But the important part was that they'd decided what to do and Steve was taking him to bed.

"You know, the guys think that I triggered your rut", Steve said.

"And don't you look proud", Eddie grinned, lying in bed next to him. He frowned and sniffed at the comforter. "Doesn't smell right. Doesn't smell like us."

Us. Steve felt himself get wet. Well, wetter. He was going to be Eddie's omega. At least while his rut was going on.

"Do you know what I was thinking, while I was watching you on stage earlier?", Steve asked.

Eddie swallowed and shook his head. Steve pushed him onto his back and sat on his lap. Eddie looked perfect under him and between his legs like this.

"I was thinking about how sexy you looked. How everybody couldn't take their eyes off you, but you were only looking at me." Steve started a slow grind and watched as Eddie's eyes darkened. "And how I wanted to ride you all night long."

Part 9

Tag Team

@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie  @sllooney  @starman-jpg  @oxidantdreamboat  @xxbottlecapx   @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast  @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds  @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord  @beckkthewreck  @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi @abstractnaturaldisaster @ellietheasexylibrarian @eyesofshinigami @dragonmama76 @marklee-blackmore @greatwerewolfbeliever @chaosgremlinmunson @blackpanzy @millseyes-world @batxsignalsx @lilpomelito @goosesister @libraryofgage @aresthelostboy @royjaimie4eva

[queenimmadolla]

srry if this has been asked before !

how did eddie & reader tell penny they were expecting? and how did she react ?

glad you asked because now i get to post this early!

�� 　. ● . ★ ° . *　　　° * 　.　 :　　:●. 　 *° :●. 　 * .　 * 　.　 　 ˚ *.　　 *　　 * ⋆ 　 . · 　　 ⋆ ˚ ˚ 　　 ✦⋆ · 　 *⋆ ✧　 　 · 　 ✧　✵　　. 　★ ° . *

(dad!eddie munson x mom!pregnant!reader)

more of your family here.

Summary: . . . You and Eddie tell your toddler she's going to be a big sister.

warnings: penny being penny, it's fluff.

It wasn’t ideal. Not necessarily something you were vehemently against, since you were obviously going through with it, but not worth sobbing over. 

  Eddie had knocked you up. Again.

  Penny wasn’t even three years old yet, and you’d ended up with yet another bun in the oven—as you’d discovered two weeks ago. 

  Luckily, you weren’t as far along as you had been when you found out you were pregnant with Penny, so you’d have more time to plan and come to terms with it. And your hormones weren’t out of whack yet.

  Last week had technically been the end of your first trimester, so you were pretty much in the clear to start telling people—though most of your friend group already knew because despite feeling a little overwhelmed, Eddie took great pride in his ability to strike twice.

  You were sure he had some sort of breeding kink, and it definitely didn’t help that you let him raw dog you every single time. As soon as you popped this one out, that would be coming to an end. Until then, he was keen on having his fill—or rather keen on filling you.

  The only person in your life who didn’t know you were expecting was your toddler. If the conversation didn’t involve a word she wasn’t supposed to say, Penny wasn’t paying attention.

  You and Eddie had tried to come up with ways to tell her, but you’d both been fumbling with ideas. Mostly because you had no idea how she’d react. 

  Penny only interacted with a few kids her age at the park, mostly older children and sometimes she’d see a baby, point at it and say ‘baby’, but that was about it. She’d do the same when she saw the gerber baby commercials and she thought the babies on her cartoons were cute, but that was the most she’d interacted with one. 

  Penny was also aware of the existence of siblings, saw them depicted in her cartoons but never approached you and Eddie in regards to why she didn’t have one or wanting one (which you had been grateful about). But she was only two. Which meant she probably didn’t care. 

  Or that she didn’t want one. 

  That’s what you and Eddie were afraid of.

  You’d been thinking about her lack of interactions with babies all day at work when the idea struck you.

  It was such an obvious one, too, you knew Eddie would be annoyed that he didn’t think of it sooner.

  After work, you swung by the store, secured the bag (and a gift bag) and dipped.

  Once you were parked in front of the trailer, you shoved the darling little thing into the gift bag and found yourself surprisingly giddy about the entire idea. You had a really good feeling about this.

  Eddie had already picked Penny up from Maude and Wayne, and you found him lifting her up and rocketing her around the room, making swoosh sound effects while she laughed her cute little diaper-covered butt off.

  It was music to your ears.

  “Look! Mommy’s home!” Eddie lowered her, turning her so she was facing your direction.

  Her big brown eyes lit up, smile widening as she reached for you.

  “Mama!”

  “Hi, baby!” You greeted her as Eddie repositioned her over his hip. She leaned forward, lips comically pursed and ready for a kiss. Penny saw you and Eddie kiss each other goodbye and witnessed your welcome kisses, so she also demanded kisses, which you were happy to give her. At one point, she didn’t want you giving Eddie any kisses because she thought they were all hers so you were happy she was willing to share.

  You gave her an innocent little smooch, and pressed big smacking ones to both her cheeks.

  “And hello to you, too.” You reached a hand up to hook on the back of Eddie’s neck as you leaned up and he leaned down, lips meeting in a kiss you knew he wanted to deepen—and would have, had it not been for the toddler in his arms.

  “Hi, honey.” He gave you a goofy grin, before jutting his chin down towards the shiny pink bag in your hand, “What’cha got there?”

  “Put her on the couch, I’ll show you.”

  “Is it for me or is it for her?” Eddie tapped at his chest before gently pinching and wiggling Penny’s nose as you both moved over to the couch. “‘Cause, I’m hoping it’s for me. No offense, kid.”

  Her pudgy little hands flew up to swipe at her dad’s before he set her down on the cushions. Penny was still all smiles, but since Eddie had brought the gift to her attention, she couldn’t focus on anything else, stare honed in on the pink bag. 

  You squatted to be eye level with her and reached your hand out to tickle Penny’s tummy. She giggled, tongue between her teeth as she moved her hands to try to shield her tummy from you.

  “I’ve brought you a gift.” You held the bag up by the strings, the bottom of it supported by your other palm.

  “Wazzit?”

  “It’s a crystal, nothing more—I’m kidding. Open it, baby.”

  You placed it in her grabby hands, the bag was half her size so she had to dump it on its side and practically climb inside to pull out the clear, plastic box. Her little gasp was a dramatic one.

  “‘S uh baby, mommy! Uh baby!”

  Penny marveled at the baby doll in her hands, mouth and eyes wide open.

  “Show daddy!”

  Penny turned the clear box around—dropping it in her lap once—to showcase the plastic baby inside.

  Eddie’s gasp was purposely more dramatic than Penny’s had been, “Is that a baby?!”

  “Yah!”

  Eddie chuckled, holding a hand out, “You want me to open it for you?”

  “Yes.”

  Eddie struggled with the packaging for a good five minutes, muttering unintelligible words under his breath before he finally got the doll out and released it from its bindings.  

  Penny clutched it to her chest in a deathly tight hug and your heart warmed to see her so happy. Penny had yet to be introduced to dolls, all she ever played with was blocks and stuffed animals—you and Eddie avoided taking her to the toy aisle, you because you were afraid she’d want something she was too small for and Eddie because he feared she’d want something with too many choking hazard pieces.

  “I haz uh baby!” She proclaimed, eyes squeezing shut with the force of her smile.

  “You know, Penny…I have a baby, too.” You confessed, reaching a hand out to stroke over her curls.

  “I yuh baby!” She giggled 

  You and Eddie both chuckled, and he squatted down to join you. He’d finally caught on to what you were up to, and you were right, he was a little miffed he hadn’t thought of this earlier, considering Penny often had him feed her stuffed animals a bottle.

  “You are our baby,” Eddie agreed, “but mama has another baby.”

  “Daddy, Penny yuh baby! Penny mommy’s baby.” She tried again, probably wondering why her mommy and daddy didn’t understand that she was the baby. 

  “Penny is—you are a baby,” you always had to catch yourself. Penny had a habit of usually referring to herself in third person because she heard you and Eddie talk about her and thought she had to refer to herself in the same way, “I’m just gonna have another baby and you.”

  Penny’s grip on the baby doll loosened, head tilting with confusion written all over her cute little face. “Huh?”

  “You remember the babies in the strollers at the park?” You asked, palm scooping up one of her little hands. She curled it around your thumb.

  “Yes.”

  “Mommy and daddy are having one of those.” Eddie finished for you, flashing you a smile with eyes that glittered and oozed his happiness. There was something magical about Eddie. He had the power to make any weariness, any of your lingering nerves just disappear. Melt away. Just with a look.

  “You’re gonna be a big sister,” You added, returning your focus to your little girl.

  Penny’s gaze darted to the side and you and Eddie held your breath.

  Her gaze darted to the other side as she continued to think and Eddie reached for your hand, squeezing. His palm was sweaty.

  Finally, she spoke.

  “Uhhhhhhhh, wike pieble?” Her head cocked to the side again, unwinding one arm from around her baby doll to scratch at her head and muss up her curls.

  She meant Fievel. A little mouse from one of her favorite movies.

  “Well, he was the little brother, so you’re more like—what’s her name?”

  You turned your head to ask Eddie who readily supplied you with the answer since it was the tape that constantly occupied the VCR. He could quote that movie by now. 

  “Tanya.”

  “Tanya. You’re like Tanya.”

  “Aww!!!” Penny went bashful, shoulders lifting up nearly to her ears. “Okie dokie!”

  You sighed in relief but Eddie was still practically frozen.

  “…That’s it?”

  “Huh?” 

  “You’re just—you’re okay with it? Just like that? No screaming, no crying, no throwing your toys at daddy? You’re just—you’re okay?”

  “Yes.” 

  Eddie blinked, lips pursed before he shrugged and stood up and you rose with him. “Well, okay then! We’re having another baby.”

  Penny squealed, shoving her baby doll aside—oh, how fleeting was her favor—to clap her hands, practically bouncing on the cushion.

  “Weh my baby?”

  “Right there.” Eddie pointed at the baby doll before he pulled you into his arms, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. You were having his baby, again, and his baby girl was fine with it. He’d been expecting one of her tantrums that ended with her spread out on the floor, bashing her fists and kicking her feet against it while she screamed till she was blue in the face but the reality was so much better.

  “No, daddy. Not dat.” And to emphasize she wasn’t talking about the doll, Penny lifted her leg, making sure the baby doll was under her foot before she kicked it off the couch. “I wan’ my baby.”

  “Jesus, Penny. What have I said about throwing your toys?” He frowned, chin resting on the top of your head while you stayed quiet and nestled against his chest. You weren’t docile or anything, you just wanted him to be the bad guy this time.

  Penny ignored him, once more voicing her question with a great amount of exasperation and her hands flailing, “Weh my baby!?” 

  “Still in my tummy, Penny.” You informed her, hand moving to rest over your lower abdomen. There still wasn’t much change there, but you knew life was growing just beneath your palm.

  Eddie wished so damn badly that he had the camera to capture the look on Penny’s face at your statement, her mouth dropped open, eyes wider than he’d ever seen them with a mixture of outrage, horror and disbelief.

  “YOU ATED UH BABY?!”

[girltalkcollectives]

👩‍⚕️ Medical Gaslighting: When "It's All in Your Head" Isn't Just in Your Head

Let's talk about something that's been making my blood boil lately: the way women are treated in doctors' offices. You know that feeling when you KNOW something's wrong with your body, but the doctor dismisses it as "just anxiety" or "probably stress"? Yeah, we need to discuss this.

The Numbers That Make Me Angry

Here's what research shows:

Women wait 16 minutes longer than men in emergency rooms

Women are 7 times more likely to be misdiagnosed during a heart attack

Women wait an average of 4 years longer for autoimmune disease diagnoses

Women are prescribed less pain medication for the same conditions

Women's pain is more likely to be labeled as "emotional" or "psychosomatic"

The Common Dismissals We Hear

Sound familiar?

"It's just anxiety"

"Try losing weight"

"It's all in your head"

"This is normal for women"

"Maybe you're just stressed"

"Have you tried yoga?"

"It's probably just hormones"

The Real Impact

This dismissal leads to:

Delayed diagnoses

Worsening conditions

Mental health strain

Lost trust in healthcare

Financial burden from seeking multiple opinions

Chronic conditions going untreated

Women doubting their own bodies

My Personal Experience

[Sharing because we need to normalize these conversations]

I spent years being told my debilitating period cramps were "just part of being a woman" and that I should "take some ibuprofen and use a heating pad." I was missing school, dealing with intense mood swings, struggling with unpredictable cycles, and experiencing cramps so bad I'd be crying. But every doctor just said I had a "low pain tolerance."

Turns out I had a hormonal imbalance that could have been diagnosed and treated years earlier if someone had just listened and run some basic tests. A simple blood test revealed my hormones were completely out of whack - something that could have been treated way sooner. Instead, I suffered through years of unnecessary pain because "bad periods are normal." Spoiler alert: pain that makes you miss school and ball your eyes out for the length of your cycle isn't normal, and we need to stop pretending it is.

What We're Actually Dealing With

Common scenarios:

Being prescribed antidepressants for physical symptoms

Having pain dismissed as "normal period cramps"

Being told to lose weight before receiving actual treatment

Having symptoms blamed on stress before running tests

Being labeled as "dramatic" for advocating for ourselves

Getting different treatment when bringing a male advocate

The Historical Context

This isn't new:

"Hysteria" was once a common diagnosis for women

Medical research historically excluded women

Many medications were only tested on men

Women's pain has been historically undermined

Medical textbooks were written based on male bodies

How to Advocate for Yourself

Practical steps:

Document Everything

Keep symptom diaries

Track dates and times

Record impact on daily life

Take photos if applicable

Save medical records

2. Prepare for Appointments

Write down all symptoms

Bring supporting documentation

List all questions

Bring an advocate if possible

Record appointments (with permission)

3. Use Strong Language

"I need this documented in my chart"

"What else could this be?"

"What tests can we run?"

"I need you to explain why you're dismissing this"

"I want a second opinion"

The Power of Community

We can support each other by:

Sharing recommendations for good doctors

Validating each other's experiences

Sharing resources and research

Supporting each other at appointments

Speaking up about medical gaslighting

Red Flags to Watch For

Be wary when a doctor:

Dismisses symptoms without examination

Blames everything on weight/stress/anxiety

Refuses to run tests

Interrupts or talks over you

Makes you feel crazy for your concerns

Dismisses your pain

Ignores your medical history

What Good Healthcare Looks Like

You deserve a doctor who:

Listens without interrupting

Takes your concerns seriously

Runs appropriate tests

Explains their reasoning

Treats you as an expert of your body

Works with you as a partner

Admits when they don't know something

Moving Forward

We need to:

Share our stories

Support each other

Demand better care

Report discrimination

Write reviews warning others

Celebrate good doctors

Keep fighting for change

To Every Woman Fighting This Battle

Remember:

You know your body best

Your pain is real

You deserve to be heard

Don't stop advocating

It's okay to switch doctors

You're not "too sensitive"

Your health matters

Link to our website: https://girltalkcollectives.com/

[thebluntstudent]

FIVE TIPS FOR STUDYING WHEN ILL OR OTHERWISE INCONVENIENCED...

disclaimer: when at all possible, you should always prioritise physical and mental wellbeing over a good grade. If you are seriously ill to the point where it is heavily impeding your capacity to study, you are not fit to take an exam, or write an essay, and I hope your educational institute has measures for exceptional circumstances/extensions/deferrals to allow you to do so! Alas, it isn't always possible to do the ideal thing in life, and that is where my experience comes into play.

°•☆•°

Sometimes you find yourself in a crappy predicament a couple weeks before an essay is due, or an exam is scheduled, and you find yourself slipping further away from the stacl of textbooks on your desk, and closer to the comforts of your bed and the rest you really wish you had the time to make the most of.

Right now, my hormones are currently out of whack in a way that could meaning anything from (the most likely cause) PCOS to perimenopause at 22 to plenty of other less likely possibilities I'd rather not dwell on. This means that sitting up for more than 5-10 minutes in the same position sends my abdomen into spasms and sharp pains, and generally existing hour to hour is a painful, emotional, hot-flush filled experience.

That being said, I have an exam in a few days, and since deferral is not an option for me (this is my last attempt, I can't take any more time off of uni, my last attempt was last year during a period of several losses that occurred on an interruption year I had taken due to burn-out and unresolved trauma sliding into my life- you get where I'm going with the 'sometimes life is a bitch and your general and academic life can't be pretty and pristine' bit) I have been doing my best to balance comfort and productivity in a way that helps me look out for what I need right now whilst still getting in as much revisiom as I'm able to.

So! I thought I'd share my little tips for building a comfy study space when conditions are not ideal but you still gotta keep moving:

• abandon the 'do not study in bed' tip, but only for as long as it helps you as opposed to hindering you. I have tried sittimg up at a desk with pillows and blankets swathing me- and all I get for it is hefty back pain and constant awkward readjustments every time I start heating up or shift around in my seat too much. If you're ill, you aren't doing yourself any good sitting hunched over a desk either- and frankly your sleep is probably going to be buggered until you're feeling better anyways. So, if sitting at a desk is putting you off, prop up some pillows, rest your writing materials on a hard surface (a folder, an A4 hardback- a chopping board works for a cute wannabe lap desk too), and set a zone of your bed aside (or just use a bedside cabinet if you have one) for anything you'll be using fairly often- by which I mean stationary, textbooks you'll be using over the course of the next hour or so- just enough stuff to save you constantly getting up out of your comfy study bubble.

• listen to tesco: every little helps. What I like to do to get myself going when I'm feeling naff- which works also if you're simply having a difficult time focusing yourself for the day- is to do micro pomodoro sessions, where I'll dedicate myself to 5 minutes minimum of focused study. If I really can't bring myself to continue longer than 5 minutes, I'll let myself rest for a little while (up to 20-30 minutes) before getting myself to do another micro session. This may not seem very productive, but you are more likely to do a good hour of work on a bad day when you tell yourself you only need to do little 5 minute sessions, than procrastinating studying because you feel as if you'll have to sit up and focus for a much longer period of time for it to count. Every. Little. Helps. In 5 minutes you can run through a topic of flash cards, do a slide of lecture notes, answer small exam questions, do a page or two of readings- and on a good day, that 5 minutes might turn into 10 with a small break, then 15, then you'll find yourself picking up your regular pace in no time! But again, even 5 minutes, just one little session, is a win when the world is throwing hurdles at you <3

• maximise your comfort: you know the little things that bring you joy, and you don't habe to be rolling in cash to surround yourself with little things to keep you going when all you want to do is sleep. My current comforts are the loyal presence of my cat next to me, a few old blankets I can swaddle myself in to stare at the ceiling when my ovaries are throwing a tantrum, a little variety of teas (currently rocking a chai latte with home bargains vanilla syrup, girl gotta have her sweet relief), a pack of energy drinks, some painkillers, and a little incense tray nearby that I forget to use 70% of the time (though the remaining 30% makes up for that). None of this is in particular mandatory- if it were, the dog people of the world would be doomed. The point is, find your little comforts- an activity you can do from the comfort of your bed like a puzzle, sensory toy or just a book to doodle in, a certain type of drink or snack you really love, some smellies (perfume, incense, candles, wax melts, and so on), supplies for whatever ails you- little personal things to relax you whilst you try to gather your energy.

• Now is not the time to push it. I tend to find the times in which I am most likely to push myself past my limits are the times in whicj something is inhibiting me- the frustration of being bed-bound, fatigued due to chronic conditions, etc tends to make me feel even more than usual that I am not doing enough because of my awareness of my present restrictions. Though this post is about pusning through bad times, you should be doing so with self-compassion, and with the mindset that every little bit you achieve in your current state is a win, a bonus, even if you find yourself unable to work to the same standard as normal. You aren't well- you aren't supposed to be functioning at 100% because your body is only functioning at 50%, and if you want to get back to your regular stressed student self you need to rest! Remember that a slightly lower grade than you were expecting in the short-term is not a reflection on your character, and it's better to *be* better for the long-term than to work yourself into a ditch and burn-out when you are already at a low point.

• If healthy study you is a carefully rehearsed play, then sick study you is a completely improvised show. Don't knock the analogy, even if it is silly and obscure- when I am at my peak, I will time-block my studies, plan to do certain topics on certain days, do 30-5 or 50-10 study sessions, work during a set period from the morning to the mid afternoon.

When I am ill, I do not know when I will be unable to sit up to work. I do not know when I will be able to sleep, to stomach food, to concentrate- so I have to accept that the normal routines that keep me consistent have to be chucked in the bin for the time being. Instead of planning my whole day, I create a vague, rough outline of the next few things I want to get done. This way, I don't feel crushed when I start working on lecture notes and find myself flat out on my back crying 10 minutes later- I just pick up where I left off when I'm ready, and work in increments from there.

°•☆•°

Right now my sleep is a bit fudgy because of night sweats/panics and p a i n, and by building a cosy space and letting my plans adapt to my body's needs I've managed to get 3 hrs of lecture notes, 2 sets of flashcards, and a set of logic practise questkons done over night between 8pm-4:30am. If I had tried to stick to my regular 'good day' study routine, I don't think I would have lasted 15 minutes before giving up and crawling over to youtube with a bowl of white chocolate and a horlicks in hand.

It is this kind of adaptability to external conditions that allowed me to survive an unstable home situation during college that meant weeks without wifi, constantly moving between different homes and constant fear of eviction due to family debts I was too young to do anything about- and allowed me to get into the top university in London* as a working class girly from a council estate.

I was given the opportunity to do an extra year at college for free due to these circumstances and a great support network within the institute to make sure I got into the specific university that I wanted to, and I had to take an interruption after my firdt yesr of university because I am not a super-human, and I knew my limits- but I'm still going, and the time away I've had has paid off and gotten me back to my scrappy, chaotic, passionately nerdy self.

You can be messy and be a good student too- and you can get through the worst of times with a little adaptability, perseverance, a good support network and a little self care ♡

*Times Good University Guide, 2024.

[writing-in-sin]

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE = BIRTH OF THE OMEGAVERSE

Okay, crazy, I know. I got this idea a few years back while thinking up ideas for a MiSawa fic

You know that japanese media tend to mention the low birth rate in their country? I though the outbreak could happened because of an experiment for increase birthrates gone wrong. Originally, it was supposed to help them increase their birthrate but the formula was too volatile for the body that instead of allowing the patient to have children, it turned patient zero into a zombie instead

Its a lot to do with hormones right? So that volatile formula triggered the body out of whack, and patient zero rejected the change so badly that it detorated the body into a rabid zombie. Kinda like what a rut or heat can do but instead of copulation, it made the victims cannibalistic zombies

Then the outbreak happens

Eventually, one of the mains (Miyuki, in this case for that fic idea I had) would be able to fight against the decay and infection. Which in turn, allows what the experiment originally set out to do and change his body to turn him into the first Alpha. The first Omega would eventually be Sawamura (who is mutually in love with Miyuki) after he was willingly bitten by Miyuki. Their mutual feelings is one of the factors that allows Sawamura to change into the 1st Omega

In summary, Japan would eventually siphon a cure (and vaccine/antivirus for the survivors) from Miyuki and Sawamura's blood. Because of that, the population turn into a world of betas. However, over time the cure within the betas will either stay the same or change them into alpha or omega depending the suitability of their original biology like race, blood type, personality, topography and such

So...yeah, that's the gist of my idea

What I'm surprised with though is that I recently found a manga called 'Zombie Hide Sex'. Recent volumes has this kind of curious setup the other readers pointed out that the Zombie apocalypse could be the origin of the omegaverse for the story

And I'm like, huh!? Does that mean I'm not the only one who thought of this possible premise!? Awesome!

Because seriously, how awesome would that be!? 🤩

Anyways, while I'd love to write a MiSawa fic based on this (apparently not as crazy or rare) idea of mine, i think I'd like to write it for an UmeSaku fic

Won't lie, I'd love to see Umemiya as the original Alpha and Sakura as the original Omega

But honestly, I'd love to see more of this possible premise in other fandoms or for other ships too

[modern-inheritance]

A funny little story regarding house names

So, Arya starts out by introducing herself formally as 'Arya, House of None.' It's the proper way to do it in elf society, as a further slight to the banished/disowned, and it's very VERY ill advised to attempt to adopt in someone who was banished from their house, especially if it was the head of house or the monarch who did it. It is supposed to last and be a stain.

Trouble was...the humans and dwarves weren't really familiar with the elves houses.

This is where I get to branch off and tell a funky little Ket story. See, as an early teen/middle schooler, I was an early bloomer and got really bad acne. Coupled with some meds I was taking for ADHD, I developed some bad habits that was just...not ideal. So I got put on this really REALLY powerful anti-acne drug called Acutane. It can cause absolutely gnarly birth defects, so for anyone to be prescribed it for the month you have to go to the dermatolgist's office, take a pregnancy test if you're female/have the equipment, take an online quiz/sworn statement that you understand the risks to the fetus if you are engaging in sexual activity unprotected, watch a whole 5-10 minute video about proper safe sex/protection methods (a quote from the video that always stands out to me because it made me and my babysitter bust out laughing was, in a dramatic Victorian distressed tone, 'we were using withdrawal, but this time...withdrawal didn't work!' and there was a good fifteen second pause before I piped up with 'wait did they mean...pulling out?') and, drum roll, two forms of birth control!

Ickle me being probably 11 or 12 when I first started this stuff, I wasn't on hormonal birth control. Thankfully, one of the options was 'abstinence.' The nurse practitioners would be the ones going over this with me, and they would be the ones filling out the form online, and whenever they came to the two forms of birth control, they would vocalize "Two forms of birth control used are Abstinence and None."

Now, I was a smart kid. But I was certainly not the smartest. And for the longest. fucking. time. I swore they were saying 'Nun.' As in, convent nun. Nun married to jesus or god nun. And not wanting to mess anything up, I just didn't say anything. I wasn't religious, but I didn't want holes in my face, so I let them keep calling me a nun.

YEARS later, when I was getting back on it after a few years off because things got whack with some new meds and news stressors, I finally saw over the nurse's shoulder as she input this stuff.

None. N-O-N-E. Not fucking 'Nun.'

So, similarly, for the longest time, the Varden put down Arya's last/family/house name as 'House of Nun.'

Arya finds this out while going over a medical file with someone like 30 years after she joins and literally pops two stitches in her side because she's laughing so hard at it. Explaining that she's banished from having a house or family hurts way less when you're trying to explain that sort of mix up.

[enam3l]

rockstar!dad eddie is definitely not immune to the claims that dads baby the pets that they didn’t want in the first place .. the girls begged & begged the two of you for a dog and eddie was probably vehemently against it because all of you travel too much or he knew the two of you were gonna be stuck caring for it till the girls actually just showed up one day with one & now that’s his best friend for life

yes. just yes. so fun fact, i used to be a foster mum for dogs so i am definitely breed bias. idk if you know the actor joe manganiello but he's married to sofia vergara (gloria from modern family) and he is this huuuge man but has this tiny chihuahua he dresses up and insists on taking everywhere. i love that for him and eddie.

anyway i dedicate this one to my favourite foster child marnie who i got have for six months! it was her birthday the other day and she is finally living her best life 🫶

ps: if you want your parents to get you a dog, try what the daughters do. this is exactly how i got my dogs when i was younger lol.

there's something about marnie (rockstar eddie munson x reader) ficlet / fluff / smut

you can see all rockstar eddie x reader stories and lore at #enam3ls rockstar eddie or the masterlist! and check out my new series love, lola

'Dad, I want a dog.' Eddie is certain that is the only thing his daughters have said to him in the last two years. All of them are teenagers, all of them are hormonal, all of them are getting on his nerves, all of them refuse to speak to him... unless it's to ask that one question. Sloane was now eighteen and in a constant panicked frenzy over finals. Iris was sixteen and was convinced she was an adult. Maeve was fourteen and at the peak of puberty and peak of being a pain in the ass. 

Personally, Eddie had felt his reasoning on refusing their pleas for a dog had been very fair. Although he was not used to being bad cop and he didn't like it. You were always the firm parent and he was a soft touch who was wrapped round the fingers of his girls - you included. On multiple occasions he had given his daughters his reasons. 

Now the girls were all teenagers, Eddie was finally beginning to start touring with Corroded Coffin again. Something he chose to stop doing once the kids had been born. 

Even though you mostly worked from home, sometimes you did have to go away for work. He didn't want you to be left with the responsibility of the dog all the time whilst the girls were at school. 

Within the next five years, all of the kids would be out the house and at college, leaving the dog behind with you and Eddie. He had planned on using a child free house to his advantage and taking you away all the time. 

Yet clearly, his reasons continued to go in one ear and out the other as tonight he was victim to a well coordinated attack. All three of the girls cornered him as Eddie sat watching a film. His protests ignored as Maeve snatched the remote and turned the TV over. Iris plugged in a laptop causing a PowerPoint presentation to appear on screen. Sloane stood next to the screen like a weather lady as she began her perfectly rehearsed argument. Those damn girls are trying to convert me, he thought. 

Often at his own expense, Eddie realised all three of his children inherited the best of both you and him. Taking his street smarts and tactical logic and your academic skills and charm - it was a ruthless combination that he's certain if wielded incorrectly could be used for world domination. Once they'd finished, Eddie sat there gobsmacked as they filed out the room to go about their Saturday evenings. Sloane leaving him a printed copy of the presentation for him to as she described it, 'peruse at his own leisure.' Eddie scoffed at her sass, knowing Wayne would've whacked him round the head with a newspaper had he used a line like that when he was a teenager and probably now. 

That night, Eddie lay on his bed flicking through the papers. It's not that he thought they were incapable of looking after a dog. They'd babysat Steve and Marissa's dogs plenty of times and were great. It was just that life would be changing constantly over the next few years and that made Eddie nervous. His fretting was interrupted by you bursting through the door and jumping on top of him. You ripped the papers from his hands, chucking them across the bedroom, before pinning his wrists above his head. 

'Hey, what's this all about sweetheart?' he questioned, still slightly startled. But his question was quickly answered by your lips attacking his neck and bare chest. 

'Empty house,' you grinned between nips and kisses, 'want you Eds.' 

And who was Eddie Munson to refuse his wife? 

All the questions that had been plaguing his tired brain all evening were long forgotten. The only thing on his mind was you. What else could he think about when the love of his life was between his legs, plump lips tight around his throbbing cock. You'd been together for twenty-five years now and still Eddie felt like a horny teenager around you. He was putty in your soft hands - literally in this case. Your hands cupped and played with his balls as his thick cock hit the back of your throat as he chased release. The way the bedside light caused your wide eyes that stared right into his soul to twinkle, made his pulse quicken. The light also caught the ring he'd slid onto your ring finger twenty years ago. Eddie couldn't believe this was really his life now. 

'U-uh fuck, sweetheart...' he groaned, 'Bout to cum baby.' 

You could feel his balls start to tighten in and cock begin to twitch - he was seconds away from cumming. So you pulled your mouth away and retracted your touch. 

'AGH! What the fuck,' he whelped. 

You looked your husband right in the eyes. Eddie's big chocolate eyes, wider than ever in shock at the loss of touch. Letting him know you meant business, your face fell deadpan and nails dug into his hairy thighs. 

'You're getting them a dog, Edward.'

He spluttered in disbelief, hands waving around aimlessly. 'WHAT! I cannot - you really doing this to me right now?'

'Yes,' you smirked, 'and you'll never cum again if you don't do it.' 

Eddie knew you weren't lying so that's why he finds himself two weeks later stood in the dog rescue shelter. He couldn't deny it made him happy seeing the joy on his girls faces when he told them the news. His only condition which you'd also agreed upon was that the dog needed to be a rescue. The charity had thoroughly vetted you all and checked the house. Eddie couldn't believe he was just allowed to pop out as many kids as he wanted without approval and yet he had to go through so much to be allowed a dog. 

Shuffling along behind the rest of you, he peered into each occupied space, reading the little biographies of each dog. Eddie had always seen himself as more of a cat person. Cats were weird and a little spooky, something he could relate to. Plus, he had happy memories feeding the strays at the trailer park growing up. Today, he'd expected to simply be the chauffeur and bank, letting the girls choose their new friend.

Then his feet ground to a halt as he caught sight of a little presence in a cage he'd thought was empty. There in the corner was a tiny pile of dark fuzz, brown eyes blinking back at him expectantly. The little creature looked as if someone had drew a scribble and stuck a pair of googly eyes on it. Eddie approached the cage and the dog followed his move, coming closer towards him. It was a little dog of a thing, little legs sticking out of scraggily fur in varying shades of black and grey. The dog could've been mistaken for the animalistic form of a wise oracle from a game of D&D. 

'This one,' Eddie called out, surprising you and your daughters. You all double backed, not having noticed how far behind Eddie even was. Your gaze followed to what his finger pointed at. Instantly your heart melted. 

'It's this one. We're getting this one,' he insisted again. Iris squinted at the paper attached to the cage as she read it aloud to you all. 

'My name is Marnie. I look older but I'm only two. Please take a chance on me, I'm a quirky girl but full of love.'  

You let out a little sniff, your hand finding Eddie's to squeeze it. Immediately you could recognise exactly why he'd find her, she was a tiny dog version of your husband. It was meant to be. 

'Okay, Dad's word is final. Marnie is the one!' You exclaimed. Eddie's face lit up with glee, heart full that without him explaining it, you just knew why she was special. 

'Thank you sweetheart,' he mouthed silently.  

'Are you sure Dad? Did you not want something a bit bigger?' Sloane questioned. 

'She kind of looks like an ancient wizard...' Maeve remarked, bending down with her hand out, her fingers immediately being licked thoroughly through the metal bars. 

'I'm sure. She's perfect,' Eddie grinned. 

Marnie Munson was inseparable from Eddie. All of his previous concerns went straight out the window the moment he saw her. She fit perfectly into your lives. Completely unbothered by travelling or loud music, Marnie became an honorary roadie for Corroded Coffin. Eddie had her perfectly accessorised, frequently returning home from the shops with a new purchase for her. Matching him perfectly, she wore a studded pink collar and a pink and black bandana. And you're still clueless as to where he found it but in the winter Marnie was kept warm by a knitted Metallica Christmas jumper. Utterly spoilt rotten like all the women in Eddie's life. Clearly, Eddie's title of girl dad was not limited to human daughters. 

ps: i don't know if these books were only in the uk and new zealand but anyway this is how i picture marnie

my taglist angels: @whoahoney @lukewearingbeanies @esme-viridian @elysian-chaos @munsonology @mseddiemunson @kreepja

[anime-kia]

No Strings Attached

I'm happy to know that you're all still into Killmonger! :)

And I haven't written smut in a while, so here you go.

Relationship: Friends-With-Benefits

Warnings: Smut 

It was nothing out of the ordinary to find yourself being filled up and absolutely overstimulated by the brawny, muscular and handsome, Erik Stevens. The Oakland ho', is what you nicknamed him. 

He knew. You made sure to tell him, but he found it quite amusing. Nothing really offended him, coming from you anyway. 

Erik had met you in high school. Of course he was Mr. Popular. You've heard of his escapades and all the wild things he's done with various girls, some of them being your friends. Oddly enough, sex was not interesting to you at the time. 

You were known as the typical smart and shy girl. The virgin. Erik's favourite kind of female. You better believe he's been trying to get at you ever since, literally going out of his way to become friends with you just so he could get into your pants.

But eventually he realized that you were more than just a quick nut. You were goofy, insightful and a pleasure to be around. Your lack of sexual curiosity and attention to more important things intrigued him. Also, he could always go to you if he was upset, you let him vent and express all of his emotions. Not once did you judge or ridicule him like his foster parents or anyone else who didn't give him the time of day to show his feelings.

"Venting is good for the soul, never bottle up your anger. Always talk to me if you need to. Cry on my shoulder too." 

"Hell nah, I don't cry. I ain't no bitch."

You were irritated that the only thing he took from what you said was suggesting that he cried... But Erik understood, he just liked to be tough.

That being said, ever since the tenth grade you and Erik were best friends. Both of you slowly started picking up each other's good and bad habits. Erik started to develop proper mannerisms, politeness, and a bit of patience. You on the other hand, started cursing a lot more and somehow it was like his high levels of horniness had attached itself onto you.

Each year it increased more and more. Everyone knew you as the girl who had no interest in sex, and despite your changes, you made sure that everyone still believed that. Also, people who wanted to have a go at you (Erik's friends) knew they had no chance with him around. He made sure they knew that too. 

"If any of y'all touch her, you better pray I don't find out. And good luck with that shit, cuz she tells me everything."

One night, he came over to chill and watch movies because that's what friends do. You were still a virgin, and your hormones were out of whack. Erik, well... When was he never horny? The movie ended and went to go take a shower, and the whole time you were contemplating if you would actually let him hit it. 

He was never reserved when it came to anything sexual. He told you he wanted to on multiple occasions, no strings attached. 

Tonight... Would finally be the night.

As he stepped out of the bathroom your jaw dropped slightly and lower half screamed. The towel was barely hugging his hips, muscular body covered in beads of water, the shape of his manhood barely making an appearance. 

All that shy shit was thrown out the window. Within three seconds your lips had found his, arms wrapped around each other in a heated and passionate kiss. By a minute, all of your clothes were discarded and Erik had his way with your body. 

There was pain and there was pleasure, but you both knew that sex with each other would become a regular thing. 

Once again, no strings attached.

Erik had you laid out on your back, legs spread wide as his large hand squeezed your right breast and you moaned out. Every single stroke hit you in the right spot. 

"You like that shit, huh princess? Lil freak." His voice was husky and gruff.

"Mmh, yes! Oh fuck!" You whined as he moved closer and went even deeper. 

His size made you wonder if it could be considered a weapon, because it was deadly. It was like God gave him both the size and the talent, a terrible (but utterly amazing) combo. You were sure if he was small he could still get you screaming at the top of your lungs. He just knew exactly what to do, and he did it before you could even ask him to go "deeper" or "harder". 

He's made you cry, scream and blackout all at the same time on multiple occasions. The location didn't even matter. Despite him being a very big guy, he could fuck you all the same in a Mini Cooper. 

And Erik was a freak freak. He hasn't shown you everything, because you were still adjusting to some of it, like public sex. That was always terrifying to you, but for some reason no one caught you yet. As far as you know...

"I'm killing your shit, right?" It wasn't a question, even if he asked it as such. He knew. 

"Yessss!" You moaned in a high pitch. He was killing it, destroying it, obliterating it all in the best way possible.

Your nails clawed at the bed, his strokes were so precise and on beat. You had a love-hate relationship with being in the missionary position with him. It was like the perfect mix between making love and just straight up fucking. Backstrokes were a lot easier to handle, even though it still could have you tapping out. But missionary, Erik assumed full control in this position. He had your mind was muddled and the only thing you could compute were barely coherent words, lots of moaning/screaming/crying and the intense amount of pleasure this man was delivering in between your legs.

You felt his hands attempt to trail up behind your knees to push them into your chest and you knew if he did, it would be over. You pushed back and tried shuffling away, but he caught you dragging you right back fully onto him before you could get more than halfway off. The sound of you connecting back was sinful.

"Nah shorty, ain't no crawling away." He said, hoisting your legs over his shoulders, "I'm tryna go deep." 

As if he wasn't already hitting your g-spot, this nigga was trying to damage your cervix.

"No, wait E-!" The way his hips pressed against yours, followed by his chest had your eyes squeezing shut. "God, ohh my fucking- Ohhh!" He was so heavy.

"So you'll call me God, but you won't call me daddy, huh? That's crazy." 

"Uhh, shut the fuck up, Erik!" You could do without his annoying ass comments at the moment. Right now, you had to make sure your walls would still be intact when he was finished with you. 

He chuckled, changing the rhythm to a medium speed. He sucked on your neck, surely leaving new marks. "I own this shit. All mine." He smirked.

"Y-you're too d-deep, ohhh!" Your moans were starting to come out as whimpers and that's how Erik knew you were just about spent. 

"No such thing, baby girl." He groaned and leaned off of you, only to drag your hips slightly into the air, "Look how yo' pussy wrapped around my dick, like a birthday gift." He watched as his length disappeared and reappeared into you.

This motherfucker... "It's too much, p-please, Erik!"  

"Tell me it's mine then." He hit you with deep and sharp thrusts after each word.

"Ahh! It-it's yours! Oh fuck!" You tried to say to the best of your ability, just so he could hurry up and finish.

"Say it like you mean it, I can feel you shaking. That nut is real close, but best believe you ain't getting it until you say it right." He was so bloody annoying, as if you hadn't came four times already. But then again, he hasn't pulled out since laying you on your back. He probably thought you were just squirting the whole time.

His thumb pressed hard against your clit, and his cold eyes stared dead into yours. His hips were circling into yours once again.

"Fuuckk, Erik it's yours dammit! This pussy is all yours!" Your moaned out exasperatedly, nails leaving imprints on his bedsheets.

He chuckled at your irritated tone, settling for your answer. That was his favourite line to hear during sex. "Imma nut all in yo' shit, girl." You had already came, squeezing around his dick even tighter. He was very close to releasing so he thrusted into you harder and faster, not missing a beat until he finally emptied himself deep into you. 

You both were breathing with heavy laboured breaths by time he pulled out. You were aching, but also experiencing pure euphoria. 

He got up and left to go to the bathroom, giving you time to recuperate.

Though Erik wouldn't admit it, you had the best pussy he's ever had. He hadn't been messing around too much after finally getting a piece of you. He's never made love before, and the closest he's gotten was fucking you slowly. You two were strictly friends and he would keep it as such. He didn't want you knowing that he was getting attached. It made him feel weak. 

You on the other hand, seemed unfazed by it. He could do things with your body that no one could, but yet still you respected the boundary between romance and friendship. Besides, sex was so casual these days. Pussy and dick was everywhere...

When he got back in the bed, he pulled his phone off the nightstand and began scrolling through his Twitter timeline as if nothing just happened. Something compelled you to get closer to him, so you wrapped your arms around his waist and laid your head on his rough chest. The muscles in him tensed up.

"Yo, whatchu doin', girl?" 

"It's just... We always fuck and that's it. Can you at least hold me till I fall asleep, E?" You looked at him with innocent eyes, he loved that.

"Nah, I don't cuddle. No strings attached, remember?" He gently pushed you off of him. 

You sat up and pouted, folding your arms across your bare chest. "It doesn't even have to be on no relationship shit, Erik..."

"No, (y/n), we do this every time." He gave you a stern look, you hated that.

You rolled your eyes and turned over, shutting off the lamp. "Goodnight, I guess..." 

"Night." He said, paying you no mind. 

Ten minutes later, he shut off his phone and glanced at your delicate sleeping frame. He silently laughs, seeing how far away you moved. You were upset, he could tell. 

"Never go to sleep upset." You would always be the one telling him that, it was a shame that you hadn't practiced what you preached. 

He would be lying if he said that it did feel good when you wrapped around him, even if it was for a few seconds. Erik had never cuddled after sex, he thought that would cause people to catch feelings. He also didn't want the girl he just slept with to ask him dumb questions afterwards like, "Why me?" or "What would you do if I died?" Just shit that he wouldn't have the answer that they're looking for.

He pulled your body closer to the centre of the bed, as you were too close to the edge and shut off his lamp.

You were awoken to the irritating feeling of needing to pee. You tried to spring up quickly, only to be held down by a tight and heavy grasp. Soft snores from the man you slept with less than three hours ago filled your ears. 

Wait... Was he... Cuddling you?!

Mr. "I don't cuddle" really had his big ass arms wrapped around your body. Not to mention, but he was knocked out like a baby.

This all would be so nice if your bladder wasn't threatening to explode right now. 

"Erik." You whispered, and tried to get out of his grasp. He didn't respond or seem aware of your presence. 

He was really knocked. Usually the slightest noise and movements would wake him up. 

There was one time you were opening a bag his favourite bag of chips while he was napping on your sofa. You didn't even open a quarter of the bag and he was already up, snatching the whole bag out of your hands.

You elbowed him a little roughly, and called out his name even louder. "Erik!" 

He groaned in pain, "Argh, damn girl. The hell was that for?"

"I need to go pee."

"Then go, you grown." 

"Nigga, I can't with your arms holding me down."

"Ah shit." He whispered to himself, letting you go. 

"I thought you didn't cuddle." You teased him.

"I don't." He denied.

"Erik, you really about to act like you weren't just holding me against your chest." 

"You probably scooted in to me." He tried to argue back.

"E, that doesn't even- You know what?" You got up from the bed, and looked at the digital clock. "Not at four in the morning, aight?" You went to use the bathroom and left Erik to contemplate.

He wasn't cuddling you initially, but at some point he must've connected with you. You were the most comforting person to be around in all aspects. Even when you argued with each other. He was so content and peaceful whenever he was around you. 

You came back and went right to the edge of the bed, surprised when Erik pulled you back in. His arms wrapped protectively around your body.

"Erik, wha-" 

"Shut up, (Y/n). I'm trying to sleep." He said in a raspy voice.

You rolled your eyes for the last time and closed them, deciding you were too tired to scold him for telling you to shut up. 

If he wasn't a cuddler before, he definitely is one now.

Hope you all enjoyed! I didn't add too much of a romantic relationship because I really wanna explore different types relationships with Erik and the reader. Plus I had another plot idea to link with this one, but I'll save it for another. 

I'm also very tempted to edit this now, but it's almost five a.m. and I'm sleepy so I know there will be so many mistakes if I do lol. 

Thanks for reading!

(Start/Finish: June 25, 2019)

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics:

Batman: the Brave and the Bold #13: God I so want to enjoy the Nightwing and Deadman story (because Dick and Boston hanging out, given their shared backgrounds, is exactly my jam) but unfortunately this is written by Tim Seeley and while there's stuff in it I quite enjoyed it still had the problem where it was full of Seeleyness. You don't need to repeat that Dick is a carny, a traveller, a circus kid so many times, Seeley. We got your point. (Also why are you travelling on a goods train, presumably without paying for the tickets? Is this inherently important to either of you? Dick has a fortune right now and Boston's fine with spending other people's money especially if they're rich or crooks).

The Booster Gold and the Jurassic League story hmmm feels too invested in how outsiders see Booster, rather than Michael's personal competence. Not that that's unusual for a Booster story but it's disappointing. Mark Russell, given your other work I was expecting a slightly defter hand with this, but it's only the opening part of the story.

The Artemis story remains so good. That's all I have to say.

The Bruce and Guy Gardner story has interestingly stylised art (I can tell some people are going to instantly hate it) but I had to laugh at the goofy ears Bruce has on his helmet. Commitment to the aesthetic! (Also lol Roswell and Grey Aliens)

The Perpwalk: oh look it's commentary on killing Joker and why that's bad. It feels very pop psychology.

The Flash #9: I mostly loved this. Wally's continuing to lose it, Jai's still getting the main plot out of twins (which is a nice change as the balance was definitely over on Irey's side during Adams), Barry is also having a breakdown (but different), Hartley gets a quality win, and we are confirmed to be on round two of time travelling Wade (seriously Wade has appeared on more pages, aged up, than he has as a baby so far).

The Wally and Dick stuff is just really...you know how Wally's connection to the Titans saved Donna? And the Titans connection to Wally saved him? And now Dick's helping anchor Wally even as he's trying to drop all of his connections? Ugh it's so good, Dick Grayson will not give up on his best friends.

The bit which really made me sigh was that finally, we got confirmation that Linda has post-partum depression (which has been obvious the last 9 issues), and...it's been aggravated by the Rogues. Deliberately. Ugh. Which is exhausting, but the panels suggested that it was actually based on Linda having existing problems (which made perfect sense, given that among other things, she'd just been sharing the Speed Force with Wade until she lost the connection when he was born. Of COURSE her neurotransmitters and hormones were even more out of whack than your average person after giving birth). But then when Hartley removed the influence from Linda, she suddenly perks up in an 'all fixed!' manner, as if that was all that was needed. And I really really hope it wasn't that simple. (Like, even if you give me a panel when this storyline ends that has Linda telling Wally she's seeing a counselor).

I would, actually, like the comic to have a little bit of a discussion of PPD, rather than just fix it magically via supervillain nonsense ending. Because Linda has lots of basis to have developed it. And she's just had to hand over her baby to stay safe in another crisis situation. It just makes so much sense and could lead to some more interesting storytelling and I just want it to be acknowledged as a real issue, not 'waves wand, all better'.

Green Arrow #12: the hugs edition.

Look. For a story arc that's premise was 'let's get all of the associated Arrow characters out of the various separate ruts (or editorial jail) that they've been in and reunite them on page', with a framing story for why everyone's wheels have been spinning and going nowhere for anywhere up to the last 14 years? It achieved that. It also got almost everyone into a costume that didn't make my eyes burn and am happy having as their default design for a while (Cissie I'm so sorry, yours is not great).

It set everything up for a continuing run and I'm glad that it has been signed off as a continuing and due to Williamson being heavy handed with allowing Waller nonsense in this plot it's going to run through Absolute Power and presumably be able to pick up with some actual ordinary Green Arrow plots.

I just want Williamson to pick up the pace a bit, and give us some one shots and three issue stories once we get back from Absolute Power to justify pulling this huge cast together by using them as more than set dressing for Ollie having a midlife crisis realisation.

The Warlord #54: Travis has a minor breakdown because Ashiya is using the form of his dead wife, Rachel, then realises he's being duped.

Shakira pushes Tara out of danger, proving that despite everything, they don't actually hate each other.

Jennifer is now a super powerful witch who has outpaced Ashiya's teachings and they have a cool sorcery battle:

And we finish off with Travis heading back to Shamballah with Tara and Jennifer staying in the castle to learn more magic (after defeating Ashiya).

[qprstobin]

i used to like steddie but tbh its just boring now. everyone writes the same tropes and now there's a/b/o flooding the tag and like fine whatever but it's just so boring. not to mention most fics are so out of character...and don't get me started on how they treat robin, she's completely sidelined it's annoying. they make steve this feminized uwu babygirl and robin into a mean lesbian that contantly berates hi its disgusting!

I'm ngl. Same. Ste/ddie is what got me into the fandom! I still really like the characters a lot but the way fandom has been handling them is just not my thing lol. I like both my Steve and my Eddie a little mean and rough around the edges but carrying and that's just... not what I am seeing at all lol. The fandom trends in this ship have been absolutely wild. Like I said last night, the fic that we were getting in October/November of last year is soooo different from the fic we are getting now.

I miss early days Ste/ddie, the relationship just felt much more balanced? Like both sides brought things to the table? But yeah, I'll admit I've gotten pretty bored with it too. I have a fic or two in my wips folders that I still want to write that have Ste/ddie in them, but I've sort of hit my limit with fandom consumption of it lol.

Omegaverse stuff can be fun on occasion but I'll admit aside from one or two fics I've seen so far, I don't super vibe with it. (Where is my alpha/alpha and omega/omega content!!) Omegaverse has always been a "my hormones are out of whack" fic time for me lmao. But this is one of those things I don't think is ST exclusive, a lot of fandoms I'm in have seen an influx of omegaverse and mpreg lately. I didn't even notice at first because Star Wars fandom is always a mess of kink, but it's legit everywhere now.

Gods yeah, the babygirl Steve was fun at first, I love me a pretty boy. (Anakin Skywalker fan here lmaooo) but yeah it's been taken to an extreme that feels less like oh this is just a little sexy thing on occasion or "yeah gender exploration!" thing, and more either fetishizing or heteronormativity. Like I was talking about yesterday I swear some people write tradwife Steve which is just wild to me. Love househusband Steve but tradwife Steve?? Where am I??

And yeah, even back when I liked the fanon characterization better, Robin so often got sidelined. Literally only there to be a supportive best friend without her own plot or to help further drive Steve into Eddie's arms, which is sad! This show is about friendship first and foremost and it feels like fandom doesn't appreciate that anymore.

(I will be fair though, pushing aside the best friend for the sake of romance is a tried and true shipping thing across many fandoms, but it did feel startling when so many post s3 fics about either of Stobin were about their friendship, and it just kind of all got taken over by shipping fics in s4.)

Like idk, I will say I still like the ship and Eddie but the fandom has definitely exhausted me a bit lol.

[spei-sidus]

Moonlit Musings

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings

Written for UsaMamo Week 2023, Day 7

Usagi was on her way back from Tokyo Tower, where she had been unwinding during the night, when Mamoru's out on a jog. Mamoru's protective instincts lead him to ask Usagi out on a date. Centered around Tokyo Tower.

I tried to get this out on time, but it struck midnight on me - irony of ironies. Well here you go. Thanks for reading.

I spent the day researching Azabu Juban, Tokyo Skytree, and Tokyo Tower...there's a lot I don't know yet. I've been an avid fan of Sailor Moon fanfiction for years, but I never really delved into the depths of the settings in which these stories take place, something that I was starkly reminded of when reading stories by FloraOne, for example. I'm really grateful I managed to complete this week's prompts, for my first ever usamamo week. It's been a dream of mine for a while, but I never thought I'd stumble into one shortly after I started writing fanfiction! So thank you, thank you, thank you.

Chapter 1

Sailor Moon perched upon one of the upper ledges of Tokyo Skytree. The youma battle had taken them further east tonight. Sailor Moon was feeling contemplative and in no hurry to head home. The battle had stopped a little after Tokyo Skytree went dark at 11 PM. She was going to linger for a while and then head towards Tokyo Tower, the tower that was the beacon to her little home in Azabujuban, hopefully timing it so that she’d get there at midnight. Sailor Moon could linger under the veil of darkness and think to her heart’s content.

It was strange, she thought, looking at the expanse below. Both had amazing views, but Tokyo Skytree - the tallest tower in the world and double the height of Tokyo Tower - made the world distinctly diminutive. Looking at Earth from such great heights seemed very familiar to her - as if staring at the Earth from space should seem familiar.

She loved the night. It made her energized. It made her tingle with awareness. She attributed it to her connection to the moon, the source of her power. She believed she’d happily be a night person if she didn’t have to go to school early in the mornings. She’d rather be up with the moon drawing or reading manga or trying some delicious food. Who knows what she would do if she had the optimal timeframe in which to exist? No, she had to conform to a Monday through Friday 8:30 AM – 3:30 PM schedule, with homework on top of that. She slept in bits and pieces because she had to – and because it was broken sleep, it was never enough, so of course she looked like she was a sleepyhead all the time. It was frustrating to have the others chide and mock her for her sleeping habits without being able to explain why. Or if she did explain, they’d probably minimize it and tell her to get over it somehow. As if magic worked that way. Maybe it did? The other Senshi were certainly more in tune with their powers and sleeping habits. It was only her that was out of sorts. Did they ever get issues if their planets entered a certain place in the zodiac chart? She didn’t think she could ask Ami about it without letting her in on her struggles.  

Tonight was a Friday night. No school tomorrow – she could sleep in all day. Or would if her mother didn’t whack her awake by noon. Good habits and all of that. Nonetheless, noon was certainly better than seven. She was going to take advantage of it. This was going to be her time, away from Luna and the girls and annoying, gorgeous upperclassmen that made her think things probably no girl her age should. Oh, who was she kidding? She was a teenager, fifteen, for goodness’ sake. Her hormonal body vacillated between her nemesis and her savior without care even in one night of fantasies and self…care. They both made her tingle with a different kind of awareness. She didn’t understand why it had to be with two different guys – and two unattainable guys at that: one taunting, insulting, and generally denigrating towards herself; the other, while chivalrous and inspiring, was also distant and insistent she treat him as an enemy since they had different goals.  

She started heading out towards Tokyo Tower at 11:45 PM, wondering if she’d get there at midnight. She decided to make a game of it, dashing from rooftop to rooftop with an exuberance that had her rolling after some leaps. She half thought to hold back a little, but she was having too much fun – it was so much like her morning dash to school. She needn’t have worried – she got there just after the tower went dark.

Perfect.

She settled in, staring out from her familiar vantage point, smiling softly at the city below. They were her people, and she was proud to protect them. She hoped they were getting decent sleep, without nightmares. She worked hard to give them hope despite the terrors the youma were causing daily. No matter how terrified she was and underqualified she felt, she was proud to be in a place to do something good for the world. It was worth losing sleep over, getting even worse grades than before, getting scolded by nearly everyone. She knew everyone, in their way, wanted her to be her best self. She wasn’t very good at balancing everything like her Senshi, but she wasn’t going to give up, because to give up would mean to let Tokyo – all of what she could see from up here, and more – down.

She didn’t know everyone in Tokyo (or in the world, for that matter, but Tokyo was the only place terrorized for whatever reason), but she loved them, loved them blindly with the abandon that only Tsukino Usagi would do. Like the moon; she loved them, protected them, and shone the light needed to navigate the darkness, all without discrimination or reservation. She wanted to affect change, as the moon made waves, while being unwavering herself. Strong in her devotion. Strong in her ability to protect. Strong to always love no matter what.

She didn’t know how long she sat there, her mind wandering under the moonlit sky, but when she finally shifted to leave, she felt rejuvenated, uplifted, and calm.

She surreptitiously dropped her henshin shortly after descending from the tower, deciding that she would enjoy a good, meditative walk. As she wove through the light traffic of pedestrians and bicyclists, she came across someone she’d never thought she’d see at that time of night. “Mamoru-baka?” she asked incredulously.

He started. “Odango Atama?!” He checked his watch. “It’s 4 AM and you’re not in bed? Are you sick?!”

“I’m perfectly fine, baka,” she said with a scowl.

“Then what are you doing out at night like this?” he said with a scowl of his own.

“Walking,” she said shortly, “and judging from your attire, you’re jogging.”

He blinked. “I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to do my jog earlier than I usually do.”

“Jogging in the morning sounds like such a you thing to do.”

“But not you,” he countered, getting the conversation back on track.

“I couldn’t sleep either,” she said with a shrug, “so I was hanging around Tokyo Tower.”

“In the dark, alone?”

“Sure. It’s very peaceful there.”

“Why not go when it’s lit?”

“I like it better in the dark.”

A moment passed. “The next time you want to go, do you want me to go with you?”

The weight of that offer fell onto the both of them. Usagi’s mouth went dry. “Um, sure. We can wait until after the lights go out before, you know, going.”

“Right,” he said gruffly. “Unless you’d rather go early to get as much time as possible?”

“So…get there at midnight?”

“...That would be what I’m saying.”

“Wow,” Usagi managed, her heart galloping at a fast rate. “You - you’d do that - with me?”

He nodded, wide eyed, as if he didn’t realize what he’d let slip and was barely catching up to that fact.

She smiled. “Okay,” she said. “It’s a date.”

To Be Continued…

Chapter 2

Date, she had said, finalizing the symbolism of what they were about to do. Only couples went to see Tokyo Tower at midnight.

He stared at her, speechless for once. Had he really, finally, asked her out? Although going to Tokyo Tower at midnight was a bit too intense, too rushed for a couple that was just barely getting together. Or were they? “Do you mean a date date?”

She frowned. “Didn’t you?” she asked in utter confusion.

“I did,” he admitted, releasing the truth he’d masked for so long now. “But perhaps you’d like an actual date first?”

She gaped as everything caught up with her. “You really are asking me out,” she said incredulously.

“I only asked you initially to keep you from getting hurt at night, Odango. You really shouldn’t be out this late at your age-”

“What kind of date?”

The question threw him. He hadn’t expected her to accept. “Well, we could visit the tower beforehand. The second level has good views.”

“It does,” she said with a smile. “But that will only hold our attention for so long. I wouldn’t mind hanging out at Momiji Waterfall for a bit. I’m a lover of nature.”

“So am I,” he said with surprise. He never would’ve thought whirlwind Odango would be interested in the peacefulness of nature.

“Of course we have to go to that curry place nearby, CoCo Ichibanya. I love curry, and it’s not that expensive. I think it’ll be open until midnight, too.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mamoru said with a smile.

“Yeah.” She took a deep breath. “This is weird, don’t you think?”

He shook his head slowly. “No, I’d say this was a long time coming. I promise it’ll just be fun.”

“Okay,” she said, trying to picture it. “I bet we’ll fight like cats and dogs though.”

He smirked. “I’m okay with that. It’s our thing.”

Our thing. She blushed. “So...when do we do this?”

“It’s already Saturday morning. Have you even slept?” When she shook her head, he frowned. “Then I don’t think we should do this today. What about next Saturday? We’ll make a day of it.”

“Okay,” she said shyly, butterflies erupting in her stomach. She was going to go on her first date! With Chiba Mamoru! “Well, I’ll see you then!” she said as she turned to walk away. He automatically followed her. She stopped and waited. “Sorry, I forgot you’d want to walk me home.”

“I don’t know why you’d think otherwise,” he retorted as he matched her stride. “I’m not leaving my girlfriend out in the middle of the city when it’s not even dawn.”

“Girlfriend?” she echoed faintly, her heart thundering in her chest. How many shocks could her body handle in one day?

“Okay, maybe that’s going too fast,” he relented. “But you get what I mean.”

“Yeah, okay,” she said dumbly, leading the way to her house. They walked in silence. When they got to the corner of her street she turned to him awkwardly. “See you around,” she said lamely.

“Arcade this afternoon? Or will you still be sleeping?”

“Oh, I’ll be up by noon. Mama won’t have it otherwise. I’ll be there.”

He nodded in satisfaction, gave a mock salute, and jogged away, leaving one dumbfounded Senshi of the Moon.

To Be Continued…

Chapter 3

Usagi went to bed feeling like everything that had just happened was nothing more than a daydream concocted from her wandering imagination while she sat a little too long on that ledge of Tokyo Tower. It’s gotta be. She’d only imagined something like this, oh, hundreds of times, so how could it be that reality even remotely matched up to her dreams?

She must have fallen and hit her head somehow. Although that would’ve hurt a lot longer than it would take her Senshi healing to fix it.

She was close to hyperventilating. Only consideration for her slumbering feline guardian kept her from fully freaking out right there and then.

How was she supposed to act now? Everything was moving so fast. She went from worst enemies to dating! The arcade was their usual haunt for their verbal battles. She didn’t know how else to interact with him. She reminded herself that he did say it was their “thing” to fight. So maybe another verbal battle would be in order? Business as usual…mostly…

She was so tired. Sleep beckoned her, causing her to squash her worries under its weight. She’d deal with it later. Much, much later. 

__________________________________________

When she awoke, she was back to panicking.

“Usagi-chan, what’s wrong?” Luna asked.

She shook her head. Luna wouldn’t want to hear about her impending date, not when she was always going on about Senshi duties. A love life was just insignificant compared to their mission. “Nothing,” she mumbled. “Just a nightmare.” She pulled her clothes together and headed to the bathroom while Luna settled back into her earlier position. A quick shower refreshed her. She kept her outfit simple and normal: a pink dress that went to her knees, one she had worn many times. She wanted to look cute without trying too hard. Or so she told herself. She still half thought this was all just a weird dream.

A quick gathering of her things and she was off, walking to the arcade, her nerves getting the better of her. What if he’d just been impulsive? What if he’d changed his mind? What if he’d remembered all the things he’d called her in the time since they’d met and realized she was still very much undateable? She blinked away her tears and carried onward. She wasn’t going to know until she faced him. So with the strength and confidence she showed a youma in battle, she carried herself down the street and through the arcade doors. She found him sitting at the counter in his usual place, nursing his usual cup of coffee. She approached slowly, warily, as if he would suddenly turn around and shout, “Gotcha!” while laughing, rejecting her in the process. No, Mamoru would never do that to her. He was more of a gentleman than that.

“Hello,” she croaked as she stood behind him.

“Hello,” he murmured, turning slightly to face her.

She woodenly sat in the stool next to him, her bag tumbling carelessly onto the ground. “How was your day?” she asked awkwardly.

“I’ve been trying to stay busy the last few hours. I’ve tried to read. I’ve tried to write a paper due soon.”

“Oh,” she said, shuddering. Homework was an anathema to her. 

“I can’t focus,” he confessed after taking a sip. “I’ve been waiting for you to get here since I got here after Motoki opened this morning.”

She shivered. “So this morning did happen?” she whispered.

His gaze darted to hers. “Yes it did.” Then hesitantly, he added, “Do you regret it?”

“No,” she said, a bit too forcefully. He winced. “No,” she said more softly. “Do you?”

“No,” he said vehemently. “As I said, it’s been a long time coming.”

“How long?” she asked. How long have you liked me?

“It’s come on so gradually I don’t even know.”

“It’s the same for me,” she admitted quietly. “The fights, they are…”

“Fun?” he suggested, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” she said sheepishly. “I’ve never done anything like that before with anyone else.”

“Exactly. It’s our thing.”

“So…what happens now?”

“What do you want to happen?”

“I need to order food first.” She opened her mouth to wave over Motoki but Mamoru beat her to it.

“Oi, Motoki-kun! Odango needs to fill her bottomless pit!”

Motoki walked swiftly over while Usagi started turning red like a tomato. “A bottomless pit?! You JERK!”

“Get her a double cheeseburger, a large fry, and a strawberry milkshake. Oh, and a strawberry mango smoothie with boba. My treat.”

Just like that, her anger diffused. “You’re buying me food?”

“Yep,” he replied like it was the most normal thing in the world - and, she supposed, it would be for a boyfriend to do for a girlfriend, but they weren’t even quite dating…yet.

“Can’t you call me by my real name?” she settled on, still peeved.

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“It’s unique and it’s our thing.” He tugged on one of her hair streamers.

She just blinked at him. He was acting so differently today, and yet, not - and she had no idea how to act around him.

“Relax, Odango. I’m not going to bite.”

She snorted. She thought of an image of a Mamoru-like youma biting her with amusement.

Her food came, and she was inhaling it in short order, hyper-aware of the male profile next to her, of the barest brush of his knee against hers. 

“Thank you,” she got out after she’d finished off her smoothie - she was really stuffed from everything. She normally didn’t have the allowance to afford as much as he’d ordered for her.

“You’re welcome,” he said sincerely, glancing at her with tenderness. Her heart caught in her throat. He’d never looked at her like that before, and it made her feel funny inside.

The girls walked in then. Reluctantly, she slid off her seat, whispering, “I have to meet up with the girls. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

He regarded her with amusement. “Yes, indeed. Now run off to your friends. I have some studying to do.”

“Jerk,” she said, although the insult lacked any heat. She grabbed her bag in a hurry and started tripping. A hand shot out to steady her, to her mortification. His hand.

“Try not to trip all over yourself,” he breathed before releasing her.

The look in his eyes befuddled her brain. Whatever retort she had was lost. With a firm shake of her head she walked off to the booth where her friends sat impatiently waiting. Usagi tried desperately to keep up with the flow of the conversation, especially as pertaining to Senshi business, but her thoughts and her gaze kept straying to the upperclassman sipping coffee at the counter.

Chapter 4

Usagi avoided the arcade on Sunday. She needed time and space to think things through. It was all so sudden. She could hardly believe it. She could barely be in the same room as Mamoru without wanting to look at him.

She cried off going, using her homework as the excuse. The girls were shocked, but gave her the benefit of the doubt. Usagi put on some nature soundscapes then settled into her desk chair, pulling out her homework.

Luna watched, stunned speechless. Usagi ignored her, wanting desperately to prove herself - not only to her Senshi, but also to Mamoru, Mr. Straight A student. She felt her flaws now more than ever. She also had a theory she wanted to test…

She set a timer for twenty-five minutes, then set to work on her English assignment. She wrote notes. She brought out different colored highlighters. She drew. But she did get some sentences in. When the timer went off, she set a ten minute timer, then pulled out some manga.

“What are you doing?” Luna asked curiously.

“I’m trying something out that might help me study.”

“You’re turning your homework into art and barely getting anything done. Now you’re taking a break?”

“Hush, Luna. It’s part of the plan.” Luna huffed and turned away. Usagi tried to shrug off Luna’s dismissal. Usagi didn’t want to talk about it, but she suspected she had ADHD, and if true, then there were ways she could work around that issue to get things done - like homework. She was terrified to be wrong, though. What if the others thought it was just an excuse? What if she was making up things? 

Well, there was no harm in just trying out some methods, right? It wasn’t the official diagnosis that was important, she reasoned. If the methods worked, maybe then she could confess her suspicions - because then it wouldn’t look like a bunch of excuses, at the very least.

How she was supposed to work around ADHD while being Sailor Moon she had no idea. 

She set another twenty-five minute timer and worked some more on her English homework. She got frustrated halfway through the assignment though, so after her second break she pulled out her math homework. Three problems into that she gave up and started working on her Japanese. It wasn’t a lot that she got done, but she put in effort that she hadn’t before, so she counted that as a win - no matter how much Luna sighed.

“I’m going to Tokyo Tower,” she told Luna tiredly.

“It’s Sunday and almost midnight; shouldn’t you be going to bed?”

“I won’t be gone long. I just need to unwind.”

Luna grumbled under her breath about Usagi ‘unwinding’ already with manga. Usagi studiously ignored her.

“Moon Prism Power, Make Up!”

Then Sailor Moon was off, racing across the rooftops until she reached the top. Then she did a double take. “Tuxedo Kamen!”

“Sailor Moon,” he acknowledged from where he sat, as if it were normal he should be hanging out there, and at that time of night. “Youma?”

“No. I just wanted to relax.”

“By all means.” He indicated the area beside him. She accepted the invitation, leaving a few feet between them.

“I’ve not seen you here before.”

“Do you come here often?”

“I do,” she admitted. “I like to see the view.”

“It is nice,” he admitted. 

They fell into silence. Sailor Moon felt hyper-aware of his presence, his slight movements. Her heart rate picked up its tempo, and she felt so warm, even in the cool air, that she wanted to fan herself. She reminded herself sternly that she had just accepted going on a date with another man. But it was Tuxedo Kamen! He was always swoonworthy. But due to her hyper-awareness, she noticed that he seemed to be scanning for something. “What’re you looking for?” she asked curiously.

He started. “Just making sure the people below us are safe,” he said.

How sweet! Even when there wasn’t a youma, he was still caring about people. “You’re a good person,” she said reverently. Here she would use the tower to take breaks, not scope out dangers!

He looked like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind. Silence fell over them again until he spoke.

“So, what did you do today?”

Such a mundane question. “Homework,” she said truthfully, proud to be able to be honest with him. “You?”

“Same.”

“What wonderful lives we lead,” she said sardonically.

“Well, we need normalcy to balance out the ‘Saving the World’ stuff.”

He had a point. “I’m not sure what good school does for me, when I have to be committed to saving the world.”

“We might not be saving the world forever.”

She started. “If that happened, would I ever see you again?”

He tensed. “It depends,” he said carefully.

“Oh.” That hurt. She couldn’t imagine living her life without ever seeing him again. “I hope, when it comes down to it, that we become friends,” she said sincerely.

“Me too,” he said just as sincerely. “You should treat me as an enemy now, but maybe someday we won’t be.”

“I’d like that,” she whispered fervently. “Well, see you at the next battle?”

“Of course.”

She jumped away, feeling flustered. She didn’t get much sleep that night.

Read more:

[eggymf-archived]

ILY so much you don't even know. So, you know, don't be mad? I'm just a curious bean. 2, 3, 23 🤗 Remember how much I love you still?

putting this screenie as a follow-up to this ask. also, i love you too <3

2: Talk about your first kiss.

The alarm bells sounded so hard for this one so I'll elaborate it more via Discord. Well, to put it simply, I was young and stupid, and it ended up being in a fucking fire exit. Teenage hormones are fucking whack. It wasn't the best experience for many reasons. I'm never kissing a smoker ever again.

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

Copy pasting this because it has been asked already teehee

There's two people in question for this: one good and one bad. The bad one is sorta like this. Think of Sebastian's very toxic traits and combine them with Garreth's casual vibe. Relationship didn't last for a year but damn the damage was huge on me with the constant mental gymnastics. It was cringe as fuck of me but I would've destroyed people for this man. But that's probably because I believed in his lies + I had crippling daddy issues way back then. The good (?) one was this. He was very Amit. Relationship felt stable. It was the first relationship I had that wasn't really toxic. That didn't last long either because his parents were judgmental little shits (it's a Filipino thing lmao) and he'd rather just listen to his parents because that's all he has done all his life. I still haven't gotten over this one (it's been almost a year fyi) and I still wish he ends up stubbing his toe 'till this day.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

So there was this one time when this photographer dude from another college asked me to model for him for his portfolio requirements. I accepted because ya know- I thought it was just a one-time thing coz I've modelled for friends before who are in a similar major. It turns out he just wanted to ask me on a damn date plus have his moment of taking my pictures. I had to turn him down 'coz the whole thing creeped me the fuck out when he asked that question and basically kept selling himself like some kind of product whenever a relationship topic was brought into the conversation. Probably a rare instance of me not being a dumb bitch for men (but that's probably because he isn't my type at all LMAO)